Dating/Relationship Advice: How To Handle An Abrupt Breakup

Most of the hurt that occurs from a breakup is due to our own egos.


One of my viewers on My YouTube Channel, recently got a “Dear John” letter from his girlfriend of 6 months with no warning. His positive attitude surprised me. "What choice do I have but just move on? 'No' means 'NEXT'."

Without making every relationship meaningless when it ends, some of them really do only warrant a small acknowledgement of hurt, resentment, rejection or hibernation. In other words, why spend too much time pining over someone who is disrespectful & doesn't want to be with you?


Most of the hurt that occurs from a breakup is due to our own egos & not always our actual love for the person that left us. (Especially if it was a short-lived relationship.)

Why harbour sadness or anger with someone who barely had the decency to text you goodbye? Be thankful they are gone. Obviously if you were in a two-year-plus relationship you are more invested and it is not as easy to let go. You shouldn’t be able to say goodbye that easily if you were in love with somebody. If you are able to walk away without shedding a tear then you need to re-evaluate your relationships & your choices, as you may have commitment issues you are not aware of.


We all have one friend who goes into a depression with every break-up even if it was only a very short rendezvous. It causes continual heartache over the years for them due to the same pattern they repeat with each new encounter. The older you are when you try to fix emotional baggage the harder it is to clean up the demons. Rejection can be a problem stemming from childhood & may take years to understand that this was the underlying problem in relationship choices for some people.

Learning how to respect yourself first will make you move on faster or not allow you to be there in the first place.

Feeling like the victim will only prolong your pain and make you angry. You can’t make someone love you! The hardest thing to grasp is that they are "over you." (You are dismissed, so to speak.) We all think that we will never have another perfect relationship like the one that has just ended, but if it were so wonderful you would still be together. You will have a loving relationship down the road you just can’t see it at that moment because your ego is hurt. Things don’t just fall apart without a reason. It wasn’t meant to be and The Universe is trying to help you, probably because you weren’t taking the subtle hints it was throwing at you for the last 3 months. (When they took that 2nd vacation without you or they still haven't given you a set of house keys after 2 years together.)

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Moving on in other areas of your life will help with your relationships as well. Think about that job that was so difficult to go to everyday & then due to "so-called" downsizing, you were let go! But in the end they probably did you a favour. How many times has it not worked out for the better?

Change is always fearful even if it is something we are ready for.

Many people become creatures of habit after 40. Just look at your parents. Breakfast, lunch and dinner are the same time everyday & so is the alarm-clock setting. Not unlike the movie Groundhog Day. Life needs some stability and normalcy but it doesn’t have to be a bad movie. Diversity is a wonderful tool to keep you fresh.


The word "NEXT" should have excitement written all over it, and should be embraced into your everyday life with optimism. It is meant to make you grow and become more of who you are at the time. You should never stop learning & growing as a person even as you approach your senior years. (George Burns (RIP) & Betty White are wonderful examples of this.)

Complacency and boredom are the real killers, not old age!

Sometimes Life becomes more of a struggle when we don’t register that something is too much work and all consuming. The reason being; it is truly is not meant to be. When your love is “real” it doesn’t seem like work & there is no drama. Think about this when deciding to “move on” out of a negative place & onto the next path life has in store for you. You don’t have to stay in an unhealthy environment~ it is about learning “how to know” when your time there is up.


Susan McCord @