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Set your personal development goals — and learn how to finally reach them.
By Susan Dykes — Written on Oct 30, 2019
If you want to know how to change your life for the better, you must know that your path to personal growth will not be easy but with the right steps and enough determination, you can make it.
How many times in your life have you pulled yourself up by your bootstrap, only to find the road to inner change and personal development look more dubious than first believed?
Or how many times, while you're trying to improve yourself, has the path looked so dim you attempted to put your new and bigger spirit back into its original and smaller box?
You are not alone. The road to inner peace, freedom, and personal strength often requires you to get out of your comfort zone and explore new areas of life. The back and forth feelings you experience during change are natural and normal.
One day you feel on top of the world with all that you are addressing. The next day, you get this nagging uncomfortable feeling in your body, mind, and soul that has you questioning your every turn.
"Will people like me if I change? Will I lose a part of myself that has always helped me achieve and succeed? Will I like the change I am working to find in life?"
These continuous cycles are all part of nature itself and they alert you to the fact that you have choices in life.
Like your 2-year-old self when you were first learning to walk, you had to crawl first, try second, and then fall a few times before you got your feet under you for the road ahead.
But, life will change. And change is something each of us has to do at some point in life. Otherwise, we get bored, we get stuck in a rut, or we get depressed with the regrets and wishes we should have taken.
If you are trying to change your life, here are 3 words to remember that might help inspire your journey to personal growth.
1. Awareness
Every healthy change begins with awareness. More specifically, self-awareness.
Awareness is a perception from your inner self, possibly a fragmented part from childhood that wants to be acknowledged and healed.
It may be the awareness that tells you the person you are dating is draining your energy. It may be the knowingness for the need to change jobs, get more exercise, or open yourself to more social and personal relationships.
In the harshest sense, awareness could stem from a medical diagnosis or illness that precipitates a change that you had not seen before.
Much of your awareness comes through your thought processes.
However, at times the awareness is simply a feeling that life is not flowing the way you desire it to flow. Your body begins to tighten, your head begins to hurt, and all of the habits that usually bring you comfort are no longer helping you numb the pain you may be sensing.
This is your spirit's way of alerting you to the need for something different. And to get your attention, you may find yourself with aches and pains that are not normally present when life is going well. It may be an emotional outbreak that makes you aware of your need to look at life from a new perspective.
Whatever it is, becoming aware has to be the first step en route for change itself. Without awareness and monitoring of those inner voices that are calling out for you to move forward, you simply react to whatever comes your way.
Awareness gives you a choice and choice provides freedom.
If what you are doing and the people you surround yourself with feed your soul, by all means, continue this path. But, when your body, mind, and spirit begin to alert you to the need for change, become aware of the subtle vibrations asking for help.
2. Acceptance
Learning how to accept yourself decreases your resistance to change. Once you become aware that your spirit and life are out of sync with each other, acceptance is the next step — and it's life-changing!
Accepting everything you've been through to get to this point, accepting the idea that life is not perfect (nor does it have to be), and accepting that in previous times, the change you are looking to make was just simply not available...until now.
Few of us are without some regret in life. Maybe for you, you regret spending too much time at work. Maybe you regret feeling like you wasted time in reaching for your dream. Maybe you simply regret that you didn't know the choice for change was available.
We all have this from time to time. However, accepting our past is part of healing our present and future. The longer we resist accepting, the more time we waste not knowing our true self.
It is the acceptance phase of your journey that will take the longest time. For in this phase, you will have to address any possible sadness, frustration, anger, resentment, or other emotions that cause anxiety and depression.
It is this phase of your journey that will help you find the gold underneath all of the rubble of reaction you have worked with before.
When you can acknowledge all of these emotions as a basis of life, then become willing to sit with them, you are offered the opportunity to look at the lesson rather than the story.
Your story will be filled with adjectives that feed whatever emotion comes to you. It will allow you to point blame at everyone but yourself and your part of the dance.
The lesson — ah, the lesson, offers so much more. It holds the ability to see more clearly the need for change so that you stop doing the same event each day, or in each relationship.
The lesson helps you accept that any heartache you have experienced was merely a stepping-stone to new doors and new opportunities to find the real you.
Your spirit has your highest good at heart. Your spirit, when you listen to it closely, when you sit with all of the pent up emotions that wish to be accepted as part of you, will not lead you down a path you do not choose to participate in.
Your spirit simply asks you to accept all that has been, and forgive all that needs to be forgiven. When you can do this, the path of resistance is diminished and with the right intention of continued work, you move one step closer to your goal.
3. Action
Here, you meet the fire that burns within you. Not the fire of anger or resentment, but the fire of your soul, the one who is willing to take healthy risks to put the changes you desire into action.
Sure, you took steps during the awareness and acceptance period — you had to because you were trying new things. But, in those phases, you were also getting in touch with all that "stuff" from below.
Now, you learn how to improve and better yourself.
With the resolution of acceptance, the action phase allows you to feel more inspired as you move ahead in a more sure-footed fashion. With small steps of action, you begin to see your plans and goals come to life. It is in this phase your passion begins to emerge more clearly and fully.
You now, hopefully, have a better understanding of the support group who can truly help you on your journey. And maybe you have more confidence now that you have become aware of and accepted parts of your life that you once denied or blamed others for.
Will there be missteps along the way? You betcha. This is all part of exploring once again, isn't that what life is all about anyway?
The action phase — when healthy — is designed to be adventurous and fun. It is where your inner 2, 3, or 4-year-old can come alive again and help you embrace the concept of what you once thought life could and would be.
In the action phase, you put your plans to work for you. It doesn't matter if others do not approve of your new hair design, wardrobe, or outer being. They may not approve of your new inner strength and more vibrant self either. That issue belongs to them.
As long as you are reaping the benefits of finding yourself in the choices you are making, while not harming others in the process, the changes you choose to make will feel good.
Like nature, we are ever-changing individuals. We are not here to cause others harm. We are here to simply be the best person we can be and hold dear the enrichment life can offer with value, meaning, and prosperity.
It is in following the 3 A's of awareness, acceptance, and action we find comfort in who we truly are as a person.
It is much like writing, reading, and arithmetic — when we open ourselves to new worlds, the world is ours to imagine and move forward in.
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Susan Dykes is a certified craniosacral therapy practitioner and spiritual coach who helps clients address the root issues of their stressful lives. Together you can learn simple ways to alter your habits and find adventures to offset stress. Email her for more information.