Sex Advice To My Younger Self

If I could cosmically jump back in time and talk to myself about sex, here's what I'd say.

man with dandelion

I have often thought about what I would tell myself if I had the chance to go back and relive high school. There are a lot of things that I would tell myself to do differently, but I believe the most important thing would be in regard to sex.

I imagine me, sitting across from me—age 16—drinking a Dr. Pepper,  ready to take in any wisdom I might have about our life and our love in the future. Here’s the earful that I would give myself: 


"Stu," I'd say, (because that's what I call myself). "As a guy, I know that you have started to have these urges. You’re noticing good looking ladies now. You're a healthy young man. You think you have it all figured out. You want to explore, to experience what life and sex has to offer. But wait a minute. Before you do, let’s think about what happens if you go down that road."

"Can you imagine a dandelion? Not the flower when its yellow and closest to the ground, I'm talking about when it sprouts up into the white puffy ball that looks like a cloud on a green straw? When you were a kid, what was the first thing you wanted to do when you saw those? Run up, rip them from the ground and blow and all the little white seedlings would float away g as you blew with every last drop of gusto you had. Remember that? Here’s the deal: If you move forward with acting on those sexual urges, your sex life will become like that dandelion."


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"Think about those seedlings from that little dandelion in your hand. As you blow them away, they float further and further from the stem. No matter how hard you try, you can’t get those seedlings back. You’re just like the dandelion. If you have sex with several women you'll have less and less of you left to give to your future wife. If you start giving yourself away to several people its like your soul kind of takes wind and goes away with every encounter you have."

"Think about this young Stu: One day when you’re older, if you knew two absolutely stunning women and were thinking about a future relationship with one of them, who would you want to be your wife? The one who gave herself away to every man she came into contact with or the one who decided to keep this amazing experience for her husband?"


"Now, lets reverse it. If a woman was choosing between you and another man, would you be the man she would choose?"

I know I can’t go back and have that conversation with myself, but I wish someone would have had it with me. I learned about the mechanics of sex, but never the bigger picture—the whole other dimension of the spiritual nature of sex and what happens when you start giving yourself away to lots of people. Perhaps, if you are just starting your dating life, you can take this story to heart. And, if you are a parent, perhaps this is a story you can tell your kids one day.

How do you feel about your sexual past, and what would you say to yourself if you could get a cosmic redo?