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All couples go through it.
By Esther Bilbao — Written on Sep 20, 2019
Relationship problems and hang-ups are common, even in healthy relationships, but not doing anything about them will not help you as a couple.
When you hold on to issues that will just make you feel miserable, it turns you into a toxic person and prevents you from being happy and enjoying your moment with your partner. Learning how to solve relationship problems often involves building trust, dealing with jealousy, and gaining self-confidence.
Before we get into the relationship advice that will help you save your own from falling apart, you must know the top causes of relationship hang-ups: fear, lack of trust, and jealousy.
Fear that you are not good enough. Lack of trust of your partner that they are lying and cheating on you. And jealousy of other people within or around your relationship.
These are also traits of unhealthy relationships, which is the last thing you want.
There are many reasons why people in a relationship are caught up by relationship hang-ups. They might have a bad experience with their previous partner, a broken relationship with their family, or have witnessed failed relationships from friends or family members.
Some of these sources are grounds or reasons for relationship hang-ups you may be having with your partner.
Here are 5 common relationship problems couples often fight about.
1. Jealousy with your partner’s ex
This is the most common problem in a relationship and becomes pretty normal.
However, jealousy can make you think of bad things, do bad things, and say things that would hurt your partner.
2. No time to communicate
Some of these are couples who are busy with their careers and those who are in a long-distance relationship.
There are also those clingy partners who will make an issue if their partner forgot to text them in a day. They sometimes take it as a sign that their partner is not exerting enough effort.
3. Lack of affection
All of us have our own ways of showing our love and affection to our partner — our love language. It might be through physical touches, spending quality time, words of affirmation, showering gifts, or acts of service.
Some people misinterpret the love language their partner is using because it is not the love language they prefer. Thus, they think that their partner is showing less affection.
4. Fear of being cheated on
They are thinking that their partner is cheating on them, even if they did not do this to them yet or never will.
Just like jealousy towards their partner’s ex, being paranoid about being cheated on is one of the common problems in a relationship. This is caused by personal insecurities or previous experience from the past.
5. Money issues
This is usually on the man’s side. When a man earns more than a woman, there is not much of a problem.
However, if the woman earns more than a man, it sometimes develops a sense of insecurity on his part.
You've probably noticed that most of these relationship issues and hang-ups are all the results of fear, lack of trust, and jealousy.
How do you deal with these relationships problems? There are 3 simple but effective ways.
1. Build trust with your partner
Trust is the cornerstone of every healthy relationship. If you do not trust your partner, you will never be at ease in your relationship.
Talk to your partner and be open to each other. If you had an experience being cheated on in the past and that is the reason why you are having trust issues, then tell your partner about it and try to work on something so you both know how you can deal with it.
2. Learn how to be more confident
If you have low self-esteem, you will become an insecure person. So, the first step to being confident is by accepting who you are as a person and embracing your flaws. Remember that nobody is perfect.
Next is to appear confident. Present yourself well by making time for your personal hygiene, dress well or put on clothes that will make you feel good about yourself, stand up tall and straight, give genuine smiles, and make eye contact when communicating.
Focus on your best attributes. Acknowledge the compliments people are giving to you and hold on to those and remember your past accomplishments and realize how great you were.
3. Make a decision to let things go
We all have a choice to dwell on the pain or let it go, so make a commitment to let it go.
You should stop reliving the past or entertaining the story running in your head that is not true or doesn’t exist — that you are the victim in your relationship.
Focus on the present and where you are in your relationship. If we let all the negativity of the past in our lives, we will have little to no room for positivity.
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Esther Bilbao is a mentor to women so they can have better relationships, health, and personal development. Get dating advice that could change your life with her “Relationship Ready: Meet And Attract Your Perfect Life Partner” course.