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Watch out for these behaviors.
By Esther Bilbao — Written on Sep 20, 2019
Coping up with a breakup is hard and painful. It is a stressful, emotional experience and can majorly impact your happiness and quality of life.
This event can also turn your world upside down because of the upsetting emotions — the feeling that you've not only lost your partner, but also the dreams and promises you made together.
Recovering from a breakup can be difficult and can take time, and everyone has their own way of handling this emotionally difficult situation. However, some of these aren't healthy and can actually make your breakup harder to deal with.
Here are 6 common things women do after a breakup that will actually make you feel worse:
1. You post excessive selfies to social media
Most women do this after a breakup to not only show their ex what they're missing out on, but also to show everyone how well they're dealing with their breakup.
These selfies are usually taken when you're out with friends, partying, or just having fun.
You may also take selfies when you're by yourself, in the gym, salon, or having spa time. Posting a selfie every now and again isn't unusual — but if you're posting a lot to show up your ex, it could be a problem.
Taking selfies and showing how happy you are after a breakup and sharing those on social media might be your way of masking what you're really feeling and how miserable you are.
2. You want to drastically change your hairstyle
A changing hairstyle is connected to a changing self-image.
It makes you feel like you're in control of your own life, which can feel good after a breakup.
Making drastic changes to your hair might also make you feel empowered and ready to give a fresh start to your personal life. It shows you're ready to let go of the past and walk a new path.
You may want to finally go from long hair to a short bob, or from brunette to blonde.
Changing your hairstyle can be fun and invigorating — just make sure you're doing it for you and not to get attention from the ex.
3. You decide to go traveling
Traveling is one of the most effective ways women move on after a breakup. It helps you clear your mind and speed up the healing process.
It's also a perfect distraction for your heartache and can help you prove to yourself that you're ready to move on.
Traveling alone is a life-changing experience; you push yourself to step out of your comfort zone and learn how to be independent. Plus, it improves your relationship with yourself, which is the most important thing.
But if you're choosing to take a trip somewhere you'd planned with your ex, or you're trying to get their attention, or you're making a financially unsafe decision about where, when, or how to travel, reconsider what you're doing.
Taking some time to travel can be great — if you do it for the right reasons and use it as a time to heal.
4. You "stalk" your ex on social media
Many women tend to delete pictures, unfollow, or block their exes on social media. This is probably the most common thing they do after a breakup, and it's a good choice!
However, some women check their ex's accounts frequently — sometimes more frequently than when they were together, which can make you feel terrible and remind you of how upset you are.
Following your exes on social media and always checking out what they are doing is self-torture.
For the sake of your well-being and sanity, it's best that you unfollow them on social media and delete other constant reminders of them.
Do your best to quit your ex "cold turkey" so you can move on without baggage.
5. You talk crap about your ex
Some women do this to their exes, especially if the relationship ended badly.
Badmouthing your exes to friends and family can help you (and them!) start hating the ex. It convinces you that your relationship was the worst thing to happen to you.
However, destroying you ex’s image can also mean that you're destroying the chances of you reconnecting with them in the future, or in the very least, that you won't be able to look back later on and think about the good times you had together.
It's normal to vent and let off some steam after a breakup, but you choose the person you're going to talk to and keep it confidential.
Try not to bash or trash-talk your ex, either, as the focus on negativity will also put you in a bad mood.
6. You hang out with friends (that aren't good for you)
Hanging out with friends after a breakup is probably one good way women deal with heartbreak.
Your true friends are the people who are always there for you no matter what. You need these people around you, especially in times like this because they diminish the feeling that you’ve been left alone and unloved.
However, there may also be people who drag you down, make you feel worse, or enjoy discussing your drama. Choose positive, uplifting people after a breakup to spend time with.
Do fun things together, focus on happiness, and you will be glad you chose not to get sucked into your own heartbreak.
Whatever method or practice you are going to use to cope up with your breakup, you need to make sure that you're not going to hurt yourself or get stuck in negativity.
Everything happens for a reason. Don’t dwell on the past, appreciate what you have right now, and focus on your future.
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Esther Bilbao helps mentor women to have better relationships, health, and personal development. For more information on how she can help you create a better life for yourself, visit her website for a 30-day all-access pass for lessons from expert instructors.