Love, Heartbreak

5 Things That Aren't "Technically" Cheating (But Are Way Worse)

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5 Scenarios You Think Don't Count As Cheating But They Do

"You must learn a new way to think before you can master a new way to be." — Marianne Williamson

How do you tell if you're cheating?

First, ask yourself, "How would I feel if my partner did the same thing?" Are you okay with it... or wouldn't like it?

In my clinical practice, I have couples struggling with cheating. The males struggle with seeing what they are doing as cheating, but they are against their partner doing the same thing, which creates a double standard.

Emotional Cheating is a huge problem in many marriages. Giving another person time and energy you should be giving your partner is Emotional Cheating.

The following are five scenarios are good examples of cheating. Ask yourself: "How would I feel if my partner did the same thing?" Is your answer "Okay" or "Wouldn't like it"?

1. You decide to discuss your relationship problems with the opposite sex/same sex peer at work.   


2. You're on a business trip with single opposite sex/same sex peers. The group asks you to go to dinner with them. You decide to have dinner, hang out at the bar and watch football.  

The group decides to go outside to sit by the pool and drink. You return to your room at midnight and pass out. You usually talk to your partner every night around 9 pm. No phone call is made until the next morning. You lie to your partner about why you didn't call the previous night.

3. You work with only opposite sex peers/same sex peers.


One of your single peers, asks for help at their home. You volunteer to drop by after work.

A few days later, the same peer needs help with a project. You agree, but you don't tell your partner. Same peer begins to flirt with you at work. You feel flattered. You begin to flirt back.  

4. An opposite sex/same sex person contacts you on Facebook. Asks to be a friend. You agree.

After a few conversations on Facebook, you find out this person is a single parent with 6 kids. The person begins to talk about their frustrations with their children. You give this person your phone number to call you if they want to talk.  

You begin receiving calls all hours of the day and night. You avoid telling your partner how much time you are spending on Facebook or phone with this person.

5. You and you partner are newlyweds. You have numerous friends you used to date, continue to call you.


You don't tell your partner the truth about dating these individuals. You continue the friendships with these friends, knowing they really wanted to marry you.  

Can you spot the cheating?

Sharon Davis is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. Contact Sharon Davis to receive a free 15-minute phone consult if you are struggling with cheating issues.