Married Woman Wonders If She Should Leave Her Job After Having An 'Emotional Affair' With Her Co-Worker
She believes if she stays at her job, her feelings for her coworker will only grow stronger.
Dean Drobot / Shutterstock A woman revealed that she is contemplating looking for a different job after admitting that she developed feelings for a coworker.
Posting to the UK-based parenting and relationship forum Mumsnet, the anonymous woman explained that, despite being married, she realized she had gotten a crush on one of her coworkers with who she spends a lot of time at her job.
She is debating leaving her job after having an 'emotional affair' with her married coworker.
In her post, the woman shared that she has developed a strong crush on one of her coworkers. "He is the person I work closest with in the whole organization. We have a laugh and a joke, but also can produce some brilliant work."
She continued, writing that both she and her coworker work on the same level, and their boss will often compliment them on how well they work together and the number of projects they are able to complete as a team.
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Despite their close relationship and ability to learn from each other in their professional environment, both she and he are in separate marriages and have children. "Nothing is going to happen, I know it's a crush. I am not sure if he feels the same way. He's not my type in looks, and we've not got a great deal in common," she admitted.
She claimed that because of her crush, she spends more time with him than she does with her own husband.
During her conversations with her coworker, they often equally complain about their relationships, while also flirting with each other as well.
"I recently had my appraisal with our manager. He asked how it went, and I told him his name was mentioned. His face lit up when he asked why, and I explained that our manager was pleased with how well we got on," she added.
She confessed that after coming home from a long day of work after spending with her coworker, she finds herself more attracted to her husband. Taking all of her feelings into account, she now wonders if it would be better if she found another job to avoid being around her coworker.
"I have lovely colleagues who I care for and who care for me. I don't want to leave. But these feelings are, well, driving me wild," she stressed. "I've been feeling like this [for] over a year, and it's getting worse. We are getting closer and I can't see how this feeling will pass."
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Most people who left comments encouraged her to leave her job if the crush was that bad.
"If you want to stay married, yes," one Mumsnet user bluntly stated. "You’re already humiliating your husband by talking disparagingly about your marriage. You’re an inch away from an affair."
Another user added, "Look for another job immediately. So totally unprofessional to be behaving like this, not to mention the fact as you've already stated that you are both married. Something a bit cringe about it all."
"Move on. You are playing with fire. Find another role in the company if you really love it. Don't do this to your husband, your kids, his partner/kids, but most importantly, don't do it to yourself," a third user advised.
However, others pointed out that she could just try and put up boundaries between herself and her coworker instead of resorting to leaving her place of employment altogether.
"I’d at least try and put some boundaries in place and learn about limerance and see if you can stop feeling this way before jacking your job in," a fourth user pointed out. "Seems like an extreme measure before you’ve tried exercising more restraint."
Nia Tipton is a Brooklyn-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.