How To Be Dominant In Bed (WITHOUT Being A Jerk)

Don't hurt her, but do let her feel your power.

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It's true. Women want a man who knows how to dominate in bed.

I’m always shocked at how many guys still think the path to giving a woman wild, screaming orgasms is to be “nice” and let her take control. 

Sure women are all different, and there are times when your girl yearns to take control herself, but for the most part, she wants to submit to a man ... not a wimp.

The same way you’re (most likely) attracted to feminine women, most women are attracted to masculine men. I’m NOT talking about being a jerk. I’m talking about being a strong, confident, dominant man.


Dominance has gotten a bad rap because most dominants out there operate from a place of insecurity and selfishness.

Insecure dominants feel so out of control of themselves (and the world around them) that they need to control and dominate another person. 

These insecure dominants use dominance to GET pleasure for themselves. True, healthy dominance (the type your woman craves from you) is about using it for the pleasure of others.

Think of it as being a leader. Think of it as leading her to pleasure and orgasms.

Men who use dominance in this altruistic way are in control of themselves and they feel confident in their skin. He knows how to give his woman the most intense pleasure and most powerful orgasms and he uses his dominance to take control of the situation. 


His confidence also comes from the fact that, if he doesn’t know what will give her the most pleasure, he has the patience and willingness to figure it out. That is the heart being dominant in bed.

Need more clarification?

I recently started working with a personal trainer. Because he’s already demonstrated that he can give me the results I want (by having the type of body I want and because I know the success his clients have had) I trust that he knows better than I do. This is why I let him lead me and take control of our workout sessions. Now, I no longer have to think about (and analyze) what’s the right thing to do. I don’t have to worry or wonder if I’m doing something wrong.

I don’t need to think. I’m free to get out of my mind and just FEEL and focus 100 percent on my body.


When your woman trusts that you’ll lead her to pleasure and orgasms, she can get out of her mind, into her body, and experience much more pleasurable sex with you. You’re also giving her permission to experience pleasure and orgasms without having to fear judgment or shame. She doesn’t have to worry about being “slutty” because you’re the one who’s telling her what to do. You’re taking that responsibility so that she can focus on what she’s experiencing and feel confident.

However, she must trust you before she will submit and let you dominate her orgasms.

If you’ve been married for 20 years and have been passive and reluctant in bed, don’t try to dominate your woman the next time you’re in bed together. That shit won’t fly without building trust first. 

She needs to trust that you won’t use her only for your gain, and she needs to trust that she can stop any time she wants.


One of the best ways to demonstrate this is to take her hand, look her in the eyes and say, “If I do anything you don’t want, just say 'stop' and slap my hand like this.” Then slap your hand with hers. This shows her that you won’t get angry or abusive if she slaps your hand because she just did it, giving her confidence and comfort.

Going back to primal instinct, women were attracted to the most powerful man in the tribe because he could protect her from enemies and hunt their dinner. So don't be afraid to show her your strength by holding her arms down while you have sex.

Don’t hurt her, but do let her feel your power.


To give her the most pleasure her body is capable of, watch the 67 Ways To Make Her Come Video Now.