The Single Most Embarrassing Thing I Did After My Divorce

As told by 9 divorced women!

By Liza Caldwell — Written on Mar 29, 2016

Photo: weheartit

Embarrassing Things Women Have Done After Divorce

As divorce coaches, my partner and I hear some good (like, wicked good) stories. Most of them we cannot divulge here because of client confidentiality (unfortunately for you, sorry). However, we DO have permission to share a few snippets from women who were willing to anonymously admit to some rather embarrassing post-divorce shenanigans.

What's up with all of those awkward antics?

Here’s the thing: After you come through the hard parts of ending your marriage — deciding to divorce, grieving the loss of the relationship, and navigating the legal process — things finally do get easier. You start to feel better and you crave a little fun. So, you throw caution to the wind and say, "What the hell? I really don’t care what anyone else thinks right now. I’m going to do whatever the f*ck I want." And, you do exactly that.

It’s normal and healthy, and sometimes the results are great. But, sometimes ... well, let’s just say it may not be your proudest moments that result.

For this article, we polled our divorced friends and past clients to find out exactly what this post divorce/second adolescence looks like (and OK, this may possibly include a story or two of our own in here). We heard lots stories about blind dates, waxing parts of bodies that haven’t seen the light of day in years, and plenty of illicit sexual encounters.

Some of the stories are heartwarming, some are downright hilarious, some are seriously awkward and some are … well, you decide!

1. "I ordered a poop bomb and had it delivered to my ex’s new wife." (Yes, this is something you can order online, we researched it for you here.)

2. "I slept with a guy who lived at the YMCA. When he invited me to his 'humble abode,' I thought he was trying to be funny. He wasn’t."

3. "I ditched a blind date to make out with the bartender in the bathroom. My date finally came looking for me and walked in on us."

4. "I went dancing with my gay friends and the next thing I knew I was snorting coke in the bathroom with a drag queen."

5. "I hired a smokin’ hot escort to take me to the museum fundraiser because I knew my ex would be there."

6. "I booked a singles cruise, secretly hoping for an ocean romance. But when I got there it was all gay men. (Had the time of my life anyway!)"

7. "I was 30 years old and I had a one night stand with a frat boy who snuck me into his dorm room. That wasn’t the most embarrassing part though — it was the next morning when I tiptoed across the hall to use the bathroom and I stopped up the toilet and it overflowed everywhere."

8. "I called in a bomb threat to my husband’s office the day his merger was supposed to go through."

9. "I’d always kept an eye on our hot UPS delivery guy. One day I sent the kids to the neighbors to play and I answered the door wearing nothing but my towel. Unfortunately, the kids came home early."