6 Ways To Make Your Life After Divorce Truly The Best Years Of Your Life
Get grounded, be self-aware, and move on.
getty Moving through separation and divorce is one of the most challenging things you will do in life. But, once you're through it, it's time to re-imagine your life for the next chapter and start living your best life after divorce.
First, you need to acknowledge your part in the relationship. How did you enhance the relationship and how did you hinder it?
Rebuilding your life after the end of a relationship means leaving your comfort zone.
If you do not learn your lessons, you will repeat them until you take full responsibility for your behavior.
Here are 6 ways to start living your best life after divorce.
1. Establish your community.
Your divorce will affect your friendships. Life after divorce will be different. There will be people you won’t feel comfortable connecting with because you only knew them through your partner.
It's now time to let them go.
You might want to reconnect with friends you knew before you were married and have not seen much of in recent years.
If you are not part of any religious community, club, or non-profit, you might want to find a group that fits your interests and values. It will potentially be a great place to make new friends.
Make an effort to have friends over for supper. Take the time to find your people who will help you bring out the best in yourself and enrich your life.
2. Practice self-care.
You are responsible for yourself and you are worth the effort!
What can you do for yourself to help you feel healthy, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually? Here are a few to try:
Meditation
Yoga
Mindfulness
Tai chi
Prayer
Dance
Whenever you start a new activity, start slowly. Maybe you might want to start with five minutes a day and gradually increase the length of time.
Eat good food that is both enjoyable and healthy. Show your body respect and it will be good to you.
Inspire yourself with people, books, and movies that uplift your spirits.
Choose your friends carefully so that in the end you are both benefiting from knowing each other. If someone is holding you back, let them go.
Your new life after divorce is an excellent opportunity to focus on your own needs.
3. Make time for fun
Life is short and thus goes by quickly. Be sure to make time for fun. Fun can include some of the activities from above and much more.
Find friends and family to have meals together. If you like live cultural events, find a friend who loves what you do and get season tickets for plays, symphonies, opera, dance or anything else you can enjoy together.
If you have children, they can teach you about having fun. Let your children reveal your inner child that has been hungering to come out and play.
Maybe you have a pet dog. Dogs love to have fun. You and your furry friend can have a lot of fun together. You'll feel better when you make time for fun.
4. Find a tool or practice to help you connect with your higher self.
There are many great tools and practices to help you connect with your higher self. Get curious and find out what might interest you. Your friends and family might have some good ideas.
One of the best tools to try is the Enneagram. The Enneagram is more like a spiritual map for transformation. It can help you to move into your new life after divorce.
It's an ancient symbol that embodies ancient wisdom practices and, more recently, has been combined with modern psychology.
Most teachers believe that early in the first few weeks of life, you receive one of nine ways to survive in the world, which you would know as your ego. You would not survive without your ego.
You have all nine types within you, but there's always one primary type, which represents the place you get stuck when you are under stress.
The good news is that you are more than your type. With the help of the Enneagram, you learn to discern the difference between the thoughts of your inner critic and your true self.
The more you can notice the difference; you will be better able to make healthier choices that will enhance your life and those around you.
Through this deep work, you will find greater joy, purpose, and hope in your life
5. Pay attention to your three sources of intelligence.
You have at least three brains. You learn from the sensations of your body. You learn from the emotions of your heart and your quiet mind.
Learning to access your three centers of intelligence will help you to make choices in your life that will bring out the best in you.
The Enneagram is one of many tools that can help you access this wisdom for your new life after divorce.
To access your body, find practices such as mindfulness, meditation, and breathing to help you become aware of what is happening in your body. Your body will tell you what is going on right in the moment.
To access your heart wisdom, you need to pay attention to your emotions and notice the difference between what you think you feel versus what you are experiencing.
Your emotions are a window to your heart.
To access your quiet mind, all you need to do is find a practice that will quiet your mind, whether through mediation, walking, gardening, or anything else.
When you are open to your three centers of intelligence, you will know what you need to be doing in life. You will be able to make choices with greater ease.
6. Remember that you are worth it
Yes, this is the time for you to shine and live your best life. You do no one a service by hiding your talents, skills, and love from the world.
Your goal is to find joy in your life again. Your job is to free yourself from the lies you tell about yourself—your job is to learn to know the difference between a lie and the truth.
The challenge is to recover your truth when you have been lying to yourself for years.
Make the best out of this opportunity to begin a new chapter in your life where you bring out your best self, live to the fullest and make choices that serve you and the people around you.
If you feel stuck, don't be afraid to get help.
Seeking help is a sign of strength and not weakness. It's now time to let go of your past relationship, accept it for what it was, and focus on what you need to learn so you can start living your best life after divorce.
RELATED: 6 Positive Feelings You'll Have After Divorce To Make You Look On The Bright Side
Roland Legge is a Certified Identity Life Coach and a minister in the United Church of Canada in Yorkton, Saskatchewan. You can join his newsletter for free advice and join his private Facebook Group called "Discover Your Identity."