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Relax ...
By Roland Legge — Written on Oct 26, 2018
If you want freedom in your life, you must start by coming to terms with your inner critic.
That nagging voice develops based on the fears particular to our specific personality types. So understanding your own traits and characteristics through the framework of Enneagram types is a great way to learn how to deal with anxiety when you're feeling stressed out.
The Riso-Hudson Enneagram Type Indicator (RHETI®) test is a psychological and spiritual tool meant to help you better understand the inner-workings of your basic nature.
Learning which of the nine types you align with most — as we all have each of the nine types within us — can help you more clearly recognize signs and symptoms of stress.
You're most likely to become stuck in your ego when you feel anxious, and your inner critic tries its best to keep you stuck there. The voice in your head begins telling you lies about how you're not good enough, smart enough, beautiful enough, and so on.
The irony is that your inner critic is the part of your psyche that most desperately wants to keep you safe.
But while it may have done so when you were a child, as an adult, following this voice can quickly become destructive.
If you give too much credence to the fears of your inner critic, you'll miss out on much in life, because it will keep you too fearful to try anything outside of your comfort zone.
The best stress management techniques rely on willingness to befriend your inner critic.
Let it know that you appreciate its desire to keep you safe, while also reminding it that you are now an adult who can take good care of yourself.
As you honor the voice of your inner child without allowing yourself to get caught up in its fear of the unknown, it will have less and less control over you.
Here's how to relieve stress and calm the anxiety caused by your inner critic's negative thoughts for each of the nine Enneagram personality types.
Type 1: The Reformer
"I am good/okay if I do things right."
The inner critic will let you know when you — or someone else — is not doing something correctly. People who identify with Type 1 can be so hard on themselves.
In order to deal with this stress, let the Type 1 part of yourself know that it is okay to not to be perfect.
Type 2: The Helper
"I am good/okay if I feel loved and appreciated."
The inner critic wants proof that you are loved. It will do everything it can to make sure that you are the center of attention. It will work hard to make sure you get the proof that you are loved. Sadly, the instructions from your inner critic will end up pushing away the people that you like.
Manage your stress by letting the Type 2 in you know that it is essential to take care of yourself. Let yourself know that you are loved and appreciated.
Type 3: The Achiever
"I am good/okay if everyone sees that I'm successful."
The inner critic will keep you busy being successful. It will ask a lot of you to make this happen. The inner critic will instruct you to become whatever person you need to be to get the job done. Sometimes, you may feel you lost your soul.
Let the Type 3 in you know that it is okay to be average, and you'll stop feeling so stressed.
Type 4: The Individualist
"I am good/okay if I can feel my emotions and be my unique self."
The inner critic will do its best to make sure you never fit in with your family, friends, or community. It will keep calling on you to focus on showing people how unique you are. It will tempt you with painful emotions to keep you from risking new relationships with others.
Learn how to deal with stress by letting the Type 4 in you know that you are unique and that you are valued.
Type 5: The Investigator
"I am good/okay if I have all the information I need to make an informed choice."
The inner critic will urge you to keep your thoughts to yourself. You only share them when you are confident that you have learned all there is to learn. The worst thing for a Type 5 would be to share a half-baked idea.
When you're stressed let the Type 5 in you know that the world needs to know your opinions even when you do not feel that you have researched enough.
Type 6: The Loyalist
"I am good/okay if I feel secure."
The inner critic will fill your head with all the many things that could go wrong. If it has its way, it will keep you in constant anxiety, preventing you from trying anything out of your comfort zone.
For effective stress management, let the Type 6 in you know that you have courage within you and that you are not alone.
Type 7: The Enthusiast
"I am good/okay if I have a lot of adventures and fun."
The inner critic will always be looking for new adventures. It will do everything it can to prevent you from feeling any discomfort. It will discourage you from finishing a project if you are already feeling bored. Its motto is: "Fun at all costs."
Learn how to reduce that stress by letting the Type 7 in you know that it is okay to slow down and feel your pain.
Type 8: The Challenger
"I am good/okay if I stay in control of my environment."
The inner critic will always be on patrol for anyone who might be trying to stop you from doing what you need. Anyone perceived as a threat will not be tolerated. The inner critic knows that the Type 8 has a sensitive heart and will do everything it can to keep you safe.
Let the Type 8 in you know that you will be supported in what you do to reduce stress. Instead, encourage yourself to show your beautiful heart.
Type 9: The Peacemaker
"I am good/okay if everyone is getting along together."
The inner critic will encourage you to keep the peace at all costs. Just ignore your own needs and do what everyone else wants to. To keep you safe, it will insist that you have no worth or value. Hence, it is better that you blend in with everyone else.
To deal with this stress, let the Type 9 in you know that your opinions and thoughts are valuable. Your own needs and desires are critical, too.
The good news is you don’t need to be controlled by your inner critic anymore.
Let your inner critic know that you are thankful for its desire to keep you safe. Even though you will never get rid of your inner critic, you can quiet it down to the point that it will no longer control you, even when you're feeling stressed.
The world is full of wonder and adventure.
Go and enjoy the adventure we call life. There is so much to experience, but to do this, you must risk doing what feels uncomfortable.
Get the best out of your life. Your inner guidance will show you the way. You can do it!
Roland Legge is a Life Coach who can help you to befriend your inner critic. To learn more about yourself, sign up for his Fall 2018 Workshops.
This article was originally published at REL Consultants. Reprinted with permission from the author.