Which Of These 6 Love Styles Do You Use Most? (& What It Means For Your Relationships)

Which of These 6 Love Styles Best Represents You?
Love, Self

Humans are dynamic creatures and your love style shows how you love.

When most people consider the most basic of human needs, the most common responses often include food, water, and shelter. American Psychologist Abraham Maslow dictated that there are several other requirements for a human being to find happiness and fulfillment.

What is arguably the most important necessity for all human beings? Love. Yes, love. Love is our foundational longing. Despite this yearning, however, not everyone is a suitable partner for those seeking deep and committed love.

The dating process is often very light on ‘strategy’ and very heavy on ‘hope’. Most people typically pick potential dates based on surface things like looks, personality, sense of humor, socioeconomic status, and so much more and hope that there is a connection that can bind them together happily ever after.

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The first step to finding lasting love and true compatibility is knowing yourself and what drives happiness and fulfillment for you in your relationships. The hope-based approach to finding love and finding ways to show love can be curbed in several ways. One of these ways is by gaining a more intimate understanding of your love style and the type of lover you are. 

Empowered by this type of knowledge you will know exactly what to look for in new love interest.

Admittedly, love is a bit of a loaded word. The ancient Greeks described several types of love. Using this as a base, we can better navigate the type of lover we are. It is important to keep in mind that this is not a fixed attribute and should be revisited from time to time.

Find out which of these 6 love styles describes you best:

1. Agape

Individuals who identify with the Agape style tend to be more selfless in their pursuit, and willing to express unconditional love. These lovers are giving, caring, and focused more on their partner’s needs than their own. 

These folks tend to be highly accepting and — possibly because of their level of abiding — they are often characterized by having high levels of relationship satisfaction.

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2. Eros

Eros types are often characterized as focused more on romantic partnerships. They lean towards attributes like physical beauty and rank this human aspect highly within their relational needs. These lovers can be intense — often the type of person that can fall "head over heels" for someone.

Because of their passionate nature, these individuals can feel a deep and urgent calling to take a relationship to "the next level" rather quickly. This deepening can fall on both the emotional or physical plain.

This style of love can have a downside for ill-matched partners, however, as they thrive on the "honeymoon phase" of a relationship and can end up moving on to a new partner rather quickly.

3. Ludus

Ludic individuals can be dangerous lovers for more sensitive types as these folks tend to see love as a game — and they are playing to win. 

Because of the framework, Ludic lovers can be more comfortable and accepting of manipulation or deception within their relations. Falling in line with these principals, a Ludus does not often value commitment and is characterized as being emotionally distant or unavailable.

As these people tend to experience more short-term relationships, there is a higher value placed on physical attractiveness than compatibility.

4. Mania

Not to be confused with elevated arousal characterized by manic episodes, these lovers are often on the obsessive end of the love spectrum as they can be quite emotionally dependent and may require regular reassurance of the health of the relationship.

Similar to the more colloquial sense of mania, these lovers can display elevated levels of joy and deep trenches of melancholy.

Because of the obsessive nature of these partners, jealousy is often an issue that their mates will be confronted with. They do well with each other, however, due to the sincere sensitivity to each other’s need to feel secure.

5. Pragma

As Pragma is its root word, these lovers tend to be pragmatic or practical in their relational pursuits. Logic and reason are their most trusted allies; they are often wielded to determine the compatibility of potential partners. 

While this may seem cold and jarring to some, these folks are far from emotionless creatures as this approach is utilized as a method for determining the sustainability and longevity of a romantic partnership.

Pragmatists are likely to evaluate a person’s acumen as it relates to finances, family orientation, social acuity, or even emotional intelligence.

6. Storge

A Storge or familial lover is often deeply committed and steadfast in their relationships. Few characteristics outweigh trust, intimacy, or union for them. Considering their proclivity toward closeness, these people can often find love blooming out of existing friendships.

As this love style is more family-oriented, these relationships tend to be stable and abiding. They may lack the intensity of Eros-type unions, but they make up for that in longevity and reliability.

You should have a good idea of what love style resonates most with you. This is the first step in finding a compatible partner, no matter which type aligns with your values.

Accepting the significance of love in your life is step one; step two is knowing who you are in love. The more you know (about yourself), the easier it will be for you to manifest the relationship you dream of.

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Rik Foote is the CEO and Founder of RelationshipDNA which offers a personality assessment similar to Meyers-Briggs but designed to help single adults with increased self-awareness in order to best determine romantic relationship compatibility. Visit Rik’s website to learn more about RelationshipDNA.