Bored In Bed? 3 Ways To Spice Up Your Relationship

Here's how to avoid "'til boredom do us part" and stay happily coupled forever.

By Rhonda Cort — Written on Sep 13, 2011

Work, chores, children and lack of sleep can cause even the most lovey dovey couple to fall into a rut. I've talked to hundreds of divorced men and men who have been in long-term relationships, each of whom confessed that a major player in his breakup or divorce was boredom.

Don't get me wrong, it takes two to keep the passion flowing and the nookie going, and although men need to do their part, so do we. That's what we're talking about today. So don't write about "men this" and "men that." Focus. Today, the spotlight is on us.

So many of us tend to slack off when we get comfy in a relationship or marriage. I won't get into the details. We've all been there. If you are like most women, you've probably had one of the following experiences:

• At first things are hot and heavy, but then things fizzled.
• Your sex life and his attraction to you faded after a couple of years.
• After a painful divorce, your ex quickly moved on.
• A man cheated on you and explained himself by saying he didn't get enough (good) sex or that he always had to initiate.
• Your relationship slipped into a "daily routine rut" after your kids were born or after many years together.
• You wore sweats, no makeup or made no effort to look more attractive due to being overworked or overtired.

When we take our men for granted, get too comfy or just stop making an effort, we are all in danger of "'til boredom do us part!" Follow one, or even better, all of these steps and your present (or future) man will love it and love you! You'll get what you want, when you want it, no manipulation or nagging necessary.

Ready? Let's take a little ride on the wild vixen side!

1. Surprise Shenanigans. Nothing is better to cure a case of "the ruts" than surprise shenanigans. In the shower, car and oh, just about anywhere the mood grabs you — give him kisses, hugs and whatever else (wink!) you feel like at the moment. An impromptu massage or caress on the neck are both great ways to show your affection.

The key is to surprise him. Don't let him see it coming. Men love surprises and lots of affection (just like we do)!

2. Naughty Novels. This is one of my faves to share with my male clients to open up their woman's sensual side. Now you can use it to take his breath away and write that novel you've always dreamed about.

Think of one of his favorite places and start writing a steamy scene happening between the two of you. You can make it any length you like, but you only need to write a couple paragraphs. Make sure you leave the story at a cliffhanger, when something big and juicy is about to happen, and then stop! Tell him it's HIS turn to continue the story. You can keep it going as long as you like.

Trust me, he'll love this one. Plus, you two can safely share what your deepest, most intimate fantasies are. What could be more sexy, fun and liberating? Besides, you'll have your "novel" to read and re-read for years to come. providing you both with lots of pleasure.

3. Text to tease, tantalize and thank him. Men talk about using this one to tantalize us into (the good kind of) submission, but it's just as powerful for us to use too. Tease him, tantalize him and thank him with sweet nothings or just let him know how much you appreciate him or something he did for you.

For example, "Hello Baby, thank you so much for taking me to that wonderful restaurant last night. I had a great time!" In his mind, he'll be pleased with himself and thrilled you liked it. He will take you out there again. "Love, I miss you. Would love nothing more right now than one of your strong hugs." In his mind, he feels needed and wanted. He'll be rushing to give you that strong hug as soon as you see each other.

Why is this important? These three erotic adventures give him the six things a man craves:

Attention
Appreciation
Adventure
Stimulation
Validation
Masculine Energy

The best part is that you are doing this while in your full sensual power as a whole woman, and you're creating a deep level of connection and an emotional bond with him. Now go forth and unleash your vivacious vixen!