Love, Family

A Single Girl's Wish List: 7 Must-Haves For Mr. Right

wish list

During this week of Christmas and Hanukah, we single ladies have lots on our minds. We'll have to figure out everything from how not to show up empty-handed at holiday parties to what to get for the uncle who already has more than enough ties, shaving kits, and money clips.

There are cookies to be baked, candles to be lit, ornaments to be hung, and cards to be mailed out. Of course, there are also questions to be answered from unknowing relatives like ... Are you dating anyone? 10 Ways To Have A Loving Holiday Season

Nope. Thanks for reminding me of another year with no one to kiss under the mistletoe, Aunt Bonny! Or ... Why yes, Aunt Bonny, actually I am! But he hasn't asked me out for New Year’s Eve yet. Guess I won't be a plus-one this year.

Ah, the holidays! I love them — like a fat kid loves cake! However, I'm painfully aware that they have the tendency to bring out concerns about singlehood. From the moment of the season when I first hear Mariah Carey's All I Want For Christmas playing on the radio until after the ball drops, I know we single ladies are subject to loneliness and reminiscing about the good times with boyfriends of holidays past.

There is indeed a red alert for going back to exes during the holidays. (Thankfully, I have been there, done that, and am not doing that again!) If you are tempted to take a trip down memory lane with your ex: PUT YOUR CELL PHONE DOWN. Do not call or text — especially under the influence of spiked eggnog! 10 Ways To Show Yourself Love This Holiday Season

You are a secure relationship-minded woman with healthy boundaries. (Okay, I hope you are!) I am certain that your past relationship did not work out for a reason. There is a really good chance that problem was not solved.

Going back may feel good for a bit, but if you don't stay away you might just have an emotional hangover by January 2nd! Remember, if you are living in the past you are limiting your future. Since you are reading this article, I assume you'd like to live for the present moment and the future. Now, shall we focus on your lovely future?

While I can't promise the seasonal delivery of the love of your life — all wrapped up and packaged with a big old’ bow — I can give you some free but incredibly valuable dating advice:

If you want to get married and find your happily-ever after, you must only date men who prove they have husband potential!

Take more than a hot minute and determine what this means for you. That's right, you are going man-shopping, girlfriend. So make your Wish List and then play detective with the men you date. If they don't fit your Wish List, they shouldn't fit into your life! 3 Paths To Holiday Love

Confused about what to put on your Wish List? I do, of course, have my own Wish List that I created when I started my 92-dates-in-one-year-social-research-experiment.

While I'm still hoping for my TDH-laid-back-Alpha Male (Do you know him?!) — I have come up with seven things that really, really matter to me in my search for Mr. Right. If you are a single marriage-minded lady, they should probably matter to you too! Drum Roll please ...

My Wish List includes a man:

With Integrity: My belief is that a man is only as good as his word. If he lies to me once, he could lie to me again. I think a woman should not tolerate any sign of disrespect from her man.

Who Is Loyal: I shared my toys since I was a little girl, but a man is not a play-thing. I refuse to share my man with another woman. Infidelity is my deal breaker of deal breakers. And that "Once a cheater always a cheater" thing? Well, there are exceptions, but in general, you should know that it is not a myth!

Who Wants The Real Thing: I want the healthy, happy, life-time partnership that is complete with friendship, true love, marriage, and kiddies. I don't want the man who just wants the challenge. How about you? If he's just in it for the thrill of the chase, do you really think you are winning? Maybe Charlie would, but I beg to differ!

Who Is Emotionally Mature: Attention to all potential male suitors, I do not work for free! While I used to have a penchant for diamonds in the rough, I am a changed woman who will no longer accept a man with the potential for emotional maturity. If I'm no longer willing to teach a guy I date how to treat a woman and I'm a dating coach — why should you be?

Is Generous: Generosity, according to me, must be across the board. I want a man who is generous with his time, money, and affection. Scrooges need not apply. You should only make a man as important to you as you are to him. If he isn't generous, he shouldn't be important. Period.

Is Supportive: You know those narcissistic guys who want everything to be about them, them, and them? Check, please! I can spot them from a mile away and you should too! If he doesn't care about you, your interests, your work, your hobbies, or your needs on the first few dates, dating him will not be a picnic. Run now!

Has A Good Head On His Shoulders: There are many types of intelligence. One that I really value in a man is common sense. His life needn't be perfect, but he can't be an alcoholic in denial, a man who is irresponsible with finances, reckless with people's emotions, or just plain dumb in everyday situations. Don't you want a man with street smarts and common sense so you can feel like you are protected?

What do you think of my Wish List? Do you have similar desires for your own Mr. Right? Email me at with comments or your Wish List!

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This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.