Why Your Obsession With Love Actually Gets In The Way Of You Finding It

Attract love instead of repelling it.

How To Stop Obsessing Over Finding Love So You Can Get In A Relationship unsplash

Being obsessed and desperate for love sends out an energy of desperation, which actually repels it.

Most people who go looking for love end up sabotaging themselves without realizing it, due to their own obsession.

When you need something to that degree, it sends out an energy of lack. And the lack of energy will always repel love and only attract more lack into your life (including finances).

If you're constantly asking yourself, "Will I ever find love?", know that you will. But, aside from simply dating and meeting new people, there is some inner work required to learn how to stop obsessing over love before you're truly ready to love and be loved.


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In order to attract real love, you need to learn how to stop obsessing with it and learn how how to be happy with yourself. When you aren't happy with yourself, you will feel a desperate need for love as a way to fill that void.


That will never work.

No one else can fill a void for you — only you can do that for yourself. When you are empty within yourself, you will only attract an empty love. Unfortunately, so many get stuck in this cycle, with one empty relationship after another.

Love always comes from within, no matter what. So, it's always important to work on you first and then all areas of your life will fall into place.

Focus on what you can do to create happiness and fullness in your life. Remember: a partner should only be the cherry on top of your own fulfillment, not your only fulfillment.

You must find yourself first — this is so important. So many people want to skip this step but it's the most important thing when trying to attract love.


If you aren't happy with yourself, you will only attract those who aren't happy with you and those who you aren't happy with.

If you aren't treating yourself right, you will attract those who won't treat you treat you right as well.

You have to treat yourself well first before you can find someone else to treat you well. By not treating yourself well, you are putting out there that you aren't valuable and worth it which only attracts that in a partner.

Look at how you are treating yourself compared to who is in your life. There will be a direct mirror. If you don't like who you are attracting, you always have to look at how you are treating yourself. That will always directly affect who is in your life.


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When you're trying to figure out how to find love without being obsessive, it's important to turn the focus on yourself first. Work on loving yourself and creating a life you love. Add more fun to your life — happiness, fun, and confidence attract love.

It's important to get to a place where you are happy without love and know that it's not something you need. It's just a nice added benefit. Know that you can find that love and all that you are craving from within.


Make that empowering!

You don't need anyone else to get what you need! You don't need to be in a relationship to feel loved! You have full control of your happiness which is so exciting!

Then once you have it, you will attract love if that's what you want.

The actions we take are what is put out into the world. So really look at what you are putting out.

Are you choosing to settle for less than you deserve in any area of your life? Doing that will only attract a partner that will always be less than you deserve.


Look really closely at all the choices you are making. Are you making choices out of desperation? Out of fear? Out of lack? Out of guilt? Those will only block you from real love.

What we attract will always come from choices we make so really look deep at yourself.

Find your confidence and create the life you really want, don't settle! Always know you have the power and it's already within you — use it!

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Kristine Carlson is a psychic medium, advanced soul realignment practitioner, life coach, and author. If you would like some answers about your love life or anything else, you can get a convenient, personal email reading, clearing or personal coaching from Kristine on her website.