10 Ways To Make Your Marriage Last 10 Years

cake stars 10 ten candles years anniversary birthday

November 3 marked my 10 year wedding anniversary to the finest man I know— my husband, Rob. He is the best aspect of my life and it's an honor to be his wife. The unconditional love we share is effortless. The depth of our connection continues to show me our paths did not cross by happenstance; we were destined to experience life together. The trust and adoration I feel for Rob is immeasurable.

Contrary to what you may have heard, marriage is not burdensome. When you are married to the right person, building a life with your spouse is not an arduous task. For several years, friends, colleagues, relatives, and acquaintances have asked me the secret to my marital success. I want you to know there is nothing esoteric about being in a happy, loving relationship or achieving a 10 year wedding anniversary. Moreover, if you assess your relationship in these 10 categories, as well as follow your visceral instincts, I promise you will find your way to lasting love!

1. Attraction. Authentic attraction is more than chemistry and physical attraction. Assess your relationship for an intellectual attraction, an emotional attraction, and an inspirational attraction. Does your partner inspire you? The ability to inspire and be inspired by your partner will carry you through the decades. The 3 C's Of Long-Lasting Love

2. Accountability.  Do you hold yourself accountable in your relationship? Do you hold your partner accountable? Are you able to engage in discourse about obligations, concerns, or expectations? In a healthy relationship, the ability to hold your partner responsible for their actions and inaction is vital. However, you should never berate or disrespect your partner when holding them accountable ... and nagging is unproductive.

3. Communication. Effective communication is the cornerstone for every successful relationship. Are you able to communicate with your partner? Do you have similar communication styles? Are you aware of the impact of your verbal and non-verbal communication on your partner? When your partner speaks, are you truly listening? Being a good listener is a critical aspect of communication. By listening intently, you will continue to learn about your partner while creating a supportive environment for self-expression.

4. Lifestyles / Interests.  Having similar lifestyles and interests will propel your relationship to prosperity. Do you and your partner share similar lifestyles? Having opposing values or cultural ideals could prove to be challenging in the long-term. Sharing the same way of life enables you to connect at a deeper level. Do you and your partner appreciate the same type of activities and interests? By spending more time together, your connection will grow. You don't have to enjoy all of your activities together, but it's nice to experience certain interests as a couple.

5. Laughter / Comedy:  Laughter is the lifeblood for relationship longevity. Life can throw an unexpected amount of adversity in your direction. The ability to laugh with your partner will help you through challenging moments. How often do you laugh with your partner? Does your partner make you laugh? Do you have a shared sense of humor? Having a similar comedic appreciation will ensure more smiles than sadness. Additionally, the ability to laugh at yourself and each other will allow you to experience a heightened sense of joy and contentment.

6. Permanent Passion:  Passion should not wane in a relationship. How much passion do you feel for your partner? Does your desire drive you to act on your feelings? How often are you passionate with your partner? Please know that being passionate does not always mean sexual activity. You can express passion via kissing, caressing, and cuddling, or through your words and writings. The written word will always be one of the most powerful ways to communicate the love and passion you have for your partner.

7. Dependability / Security:  Can you depend on your partner? Can your partner depend on you? Dependability is a mainstay for long-term connections. Your partner should be able to depend on you for a myriad of relationship needs, and vice versa. Does your partner make you feel physically and emotionally safe? Are you able to offer this type of security to your partner? A consistent demonstration of security and dependability enables a greater degree of connectivity and trust.

8. Support / Understanding:  An unwavering level of support and understanding drives relationships forward. Do you make an effort to support and understand your partner on a daily basis? Do they do the same for you? If your partner wanted to make a personal or professional change, would you show them support and understanding or disdain? Be mindful of your reactions; resistance breeds resistance.

9. Unconditional Love (and Like!):  There is a sharp distinction between like and love. You can love someone, but not sincerely like them. True love (and like) must be without condition. Do you feel romantic love without condition for your partner? Do you truly like your partner as a person? Do you like being around them? Do you accept them for who they genuinely are? If you are trying to change someone's core, you are not in the right relationship. The 3 C's Of Long-Lasting Love

10. Life Goals / Relationship Goals:  Successful marriages share the same life goals as well as relationship goals. What do you want out of life? What do you want out of a relationship? Does your partner share your sentiments? If you know you would like to have children, be sure your partner feels as strongly as you do about raising children and parenting. If you are looking to maintain and grow your financial status, have no doubts that your partner is capable of meeting this goal. By having the same visions, you will reduce disappointment and uncertainty.

After 10 blissful years of marriage, I can say this with certitude: Rob and I have a successful relationship because of our mutual adoration and because we are a compatible match, especially in the aforementioned categories. Consequently, it takes more than unconditional love to keep a marriage together. Marriage requires constant action, acceptance, and attention — done willingly and with joy.