How To Stop Being Codependent In Relationships

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How To Stop Being Codependent

Overcoming codependency in a codependent relationship is simple in theory. Yet, in practice, learning how to stop being codependent can be difficult.

Codependency counseling is becoming more and more popular all over the world. It means no more of "I give up me to be loved by you."

If you are in a relationship where you always say and do what your other half wants, then you can change that. Too often people live in fear of saying "no" to their partner and form a habit of giving in to them all the time just to make them happy.

The foundation of long-term love and happiness is where both in the couple look after each other, not where one is sacrificing themselves.

RELATED: 10 Definitive Signs You're In A Codependent Relationship

Codependency can appear in family dynamics as well as marriage and intimate relationships.

Many parents give up their life to worry about and look after their adult children, sacrificing their own life goals and dreams.

Often in the codependency counseling sessions, I find that the person displaying signs of codependency was actually codependent as a child. They had to look after a parent, brothers, or sisters, and then repeat this behavior in their romantic relationships later in life.

Counseling can help.

Codependency counseling can really help with this to support someone to break free and start to love themselves.

Loving yourself is simple, again, in theory — it means taking care of yourself, first and foremost, ensuring that your care for others comes from a place of inner abundance and a feeling of already being taken care of from within.

When we put ourselves first and we are brave enough to say no to others our lives can begin to shift course.

Many people struggle with loving themselves.

When we don’t put ourselves first and put our partners first, we become dependent on their approval. We are on a slippery road that has the potential not only for divorce but a life of regrets.

Codependency is an addiction — it's hard to stop despite the negative consequences. So if you believe you have the signs and traits of codependency, then you may find it hard to stop.

RELATED: 3 Important Steps For Breaking Free From A Codependent Relationship

You must learn to put yourself first.

At the end of the day, in order to be and give your best, you have to start putting yourself first and change from "whatever you want" to "whatever I want," or simply learn how to say "no."

It might seem cruel but sometimes, we have to be cruel to be kind.

By putting yourself first, you benefit everyone around you, especially if you are enabling others with their addictions and habits or are getting away with selfish, aggressive, or hurtful behavior.

Setting boundaries is key.

If being yourself and going after what you want starts to cause cracks in your relationship, then relationship codependency counseling online or in-person can help you work through this often complex issue.

There are several hurdles to overcome when a major change takes place within a relationship. Having someone to support you will not only take the load off but also help you identify what it is you want, how to get it, and how to set healthy boundaries.

It's never too late to change in your relationships.

Many women and men who have been codependent in the relationship the whole time worry that they won’t be able to make the changes they desire. Yet, it really is never too late to be the person you want to be and learn to say "no."

Yes, there are times when it is right and nice to put others first. But if this becomes a habit, then the balance begins to alter in the relationship.

Think of it like this: Imagine your relationship as a seesaw at the park. For it to work, both partners have to move so that it goes up and down. If one person stops moving, they will stay down and the other person will stay up.

It’s like this in a relationship. For couples to keep moving, both parties have to move. Keep moving and remember that if something isn’t working, be brave enough to face it and fix it.

If your partner doesn’t accept and love the real you, then getting some help could benefit you to decide the future of your relationship.

Be true to who you are and you will flourish.

The people who truly love, care, and appreciate you will be there for you till the end.

Don’t look back with regret at what has already happened, it's in the past.

Instead, look forward with hope and optimism for a future built on mutual understanding and most of all unconditional love with your partners.

RELATED: 16 Glaring Signs That You're Codependent In Your Relationship

Nicola Beer is a Marriage Transformation Specialist and Founder of Save My Marriage Program. If you have any questions about the signs of codependency or marriage counseling, online join her Facebook community or visit her website.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.