Self, Health And Wellness

People With These 10 Personality Traits Have No Idea What Gratitude Means

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What Is Gratitude? People With These Personality Traits Don't Know How To Be Grateful In Relationships

With a wealth of research currently developing around the practice and benefits of gratitude, the importance of knowing how to be truly grateful is gaining public attention.

As reported in The Guardian, "Study after study has found a robust association between higher levels of gratitude and wellbeing, including protection from stress and depression, more fulfilling relationships, better sleep and greater resilience ... Gratitude was one of the most powerful variables that personality psychologists could find when it came to predicting wellbeing, over and above most known factors, from wealth and health to other personality traits such as optimism."

Unfortunately, we all know people who seem to have no idea whatsoever what gratitude even means.

What is gratitude and where does it come from?

As defined in the Cambridge Dictionary, gratitude is "a strong feeling of appreciation to someone or something for what the person has done to help you."

As counter-intuitive as it may sound, the capacity for gratitude originates with the presence of self-love and self-acceptance.

Gratitude allows us to be thankful, show appreciation and return kindness. When we lack gratitude, we aren't allowing ourselves to be open to receiving and giving love.

RELATED: People With These 5 Personality Traits Know The True Meaning Of Gratitude

If you don't love yourself or feel happy in the world around you, you probably won't feel grateful for all that you have. If you don’t feel good enough, you won't likely be kind to yourself, and may therefore struggle to see kindness in others.

When you don’t love yourself, you perceive yourself as living in a world that doesn't meet your needs, because you're constantly looking at what is unsatisfying to you.

When you're hard on yourself, you stop yourself from ever smelling the roses because you're too busy looking at the thorns and the weeds.

You cannot be thankful to others if you don't appreciate who you are and everything you have to offer the world.

If you recognize these 10 dominant personality traits in yourself or others, it's a sign you lack self-love and don't know the meaning of gratitude, let alone how to be grateful.

1. Selflessness

When you don't consider your own needs, you start feeling as though the world is against you. You feel that you don't deserve good things in life, so don't accept them when others offer them to you.

When you're busy giving to others instead of to yourself, you miss noticing the little things in life, which deprives you of opportunities to feel thankful for all that you have. You look at what you don’t have, because you feel unfilled within yourself.

2. Self-depreciation

When you feel that you don't have intrinsic value in and of yourself, you feel that what you have isn't enough to complete you. This leads you to search for external happiness as a way to fill the empty void within.

When you as thought you are not enough inside, you think you need more in order to fill the emptiness, looking at what's going wrong and blaming life for not giving you what you believe you need.

Nothing you find externally feels satisfying enough to compensate for how unworthy you feel, so you berate yourself and push real love away.

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3. Complaining

You think there's something wrong with yourself, so you find fault in everything around you. No matter what you get in life, it never feels enough.

You project your feelings onto everything around you. You assume your boyfriend will leave you, you'll never be able to afford the kind of home you want, you'll never get the job of your dreams, and so on.

4. Self-loathing

You don't open yourself up to receive love and block yourself from receiving love because you feel unworthy of love, so you label yourself as "unlovable."

You sabotage your own happiness by not allowing yourself to receive love when it's offered, which means you never have a chance to give love back. You end up becoming guarded in order to protect yourself from the self-hatred within you.

RELATED: People With These 5 Personality Traits Know The True Meaning Of Kindness

5. Neediness

You feel the world owes you for what you’ve missed out on — it's all so unfair — so you feel entitled and begin to expect something for nothing.

You turn to others for support without taking care of yourself, but lack gratitude for the help you receive because you feel life has failed you and any assistance is simply your rightful repayment.

6. Self-absorption

You become self-preoccupied and self-absorbed, ruminating on your problems.

You use your misery as a way to seek sympathy, pushing loved ones away by not giving back.

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7. Unaccountable

You want to be rescued from your life, looking for those who can save you rather than taking ownership for yourself.

You expect others to take care of you and don't feel thankful for the support you get, so you lack any sense of a reason to be unaccountable for yourself.

8. Self-Pitying

You remain stuck in your problems in order to feel gratified by your self-pity.

You feel sorry for yourself and won't allow yourself to be happy, pushing away those you love so they won't have the chance to change that familiar gloom.

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9. Victim mentality

You give up on yourself in life and feel resentful and bitter for those you let control of you.

You give up everything you have in life, as you aren't grateful for what you have to begin with.

10. Martyr complex

You put your needs last, as everyone else seems to matter more than you do anyway. You won’t allow yourself to receive good things in life because you don't feel you deserve them.

You strive to please others, hoping they will give you love in return, then feel disappointed and resentful when you put in so much effort and feel you get nothing back in return.

When you lack self-love, you don't appreciate the person you really are, all that you have to offer, or your achievements.

When you can't see the goodness others see in you, you push love away, unable to feel grateful for something you never give yourself access to.

You're not thankful for all that you have because you don't see all you have to offer, nor do you see true love and kindness when they come your way.

RELATED: People With These 5 Personality Types Understand The True Meaning Of Empathy

Nancy Carbone is a relationship therapist and psychodynamic psychotherapist who assists individuals and couples to address the underlying feelings that underpin stuck patterns of behavior, in order to locate the real self. For more, visit her Facebook page.

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