Want More Freedom? Set Boundaries!

What do you do when you feel stuck? None of us care to feel tied down. Consider these questions: "What are two things you can do this week to claim more freedom?" and "What keeps you from being in greater control of your life?" Most of us might say that money or time, family or career obligations are the things that hold us back.

"If only I had an extra hour in my day"; "I'd take a vacation if I had more money"; "I need to spend the money on clothes for the kids"; "I have to finish the report first."

Have you set boundaries about what is acceptable, and what is not? A big part of gaining more control over your life is having clarity about what matters, and using effective communication to ask for what you need. We all have a right to establish boundaries.

  • "I need 20 minutes when I come home to unwind by myself before I talk to anyone about anything."
  • "The clothing budget allows for one pair of shoes now, not two."
  • "Sunday is for relaxing; I can do the laundry/yard next Saturday."
  • "If you can't do the dishes after you eat, leave a note with the time and assure us that they will be done within 4 hours."
  • "Boxes and bags that are left on the table or floor will have a date put on them. Two days later they will be put away, and a chore will need to be done in order to reclaim them."
  • "I will wait fifteen minutes. If you are not there, I will go on without you unless you have called."
  • "Don't knock before 10 am; I may have stayed up late, and may be sleeping."
  • "I would like to take comp time for the extra day I put into this of my own time." (If you don't ask, you certainly won't get what you want!)
  • "TV and radio are turned low after 10 so no one is kept awake."
  • "Do not use the bowl and cup on this shelf; they are special to me."
  • "If I don't get back to you when you need me, call me again. I have several projects I am working on. I need your patience."
  • "I know we planned to go out tomorrow, but I can't get out of this. I am sorry. Will next Wednesday or Saturday work? How can I make it up to you?"
  • "You said you would have dinner ready. I only have 30 minutes. Would you treat me at the deli so I can get to my appointment on time?"
  • "I know you want to go to the Aquarium, but I am enjoying watching the boats go by. Would you be willing to go by yourself or to wait fifteen more minutes so I can sit still here?"
  • "I've lost hundreds of emails while in AOL 5.0. I will stick with Tech Support until the problem is handled." (And I did for quite a while—now I'm with Comcast!)

You get the idea. First, get clear on what is important. Second, ask for and expect to get what you want. Third, be willing to talk it out, work it out, so it's a win-win.

Contact me for a complimentary 30-min. telephone coaching call if you'd like some forward movement in experiencing more freedom in your life.

Till next time,


(206) 938-8385