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Forget everything you've heard.
By Mike Hatcher — Written on Dec 27, 2018
What is swinging? In American culture — and in most cultures — the term "swinging couples" applies to partners who engage in sexual activities with other people outside their marriage or relationship. The subject of swinging is considered a taboo, or too kinky for the general public.
However, there is much more to the swing lifestyle than what is generally known about it.
A lot of people think that swinging couples come from the ugly side of society. However, this is untrue. Swinger couples come from all walks of life. Some swinger couples come from middle class to upper class, some hold a high degree of education, some have a white-collar job, and some are from all sides of political affiliations.
Although swingers come from all walks of life, there is one common factor that binds them — they enjoy engaging in sexual activities with multiple partners and with the consent of their spouses. Despite what most people think, swinger couples are normal human beings that choose to explore their sexuality in a different way.
They aren't psychologically disturbed individuals. Furthermore, swinger couples organize meetings or parties where ground rules are laid down beforehand. A swinger party may be a threesome, foursome, or even an orgy. It all depends on what everyone in the party agrees on.
Most swinger couples, despite having a normal lifestyle, have a tendency to keep their swinger lifestyle a secret. This is understandable since the general public frowns upon the idea and thinks that people who "swing" are psychologically ill.
Because of this, swingers tend to make use of the internet to meet and set up a meeting with other swingers to initially conceal their identities.
One of the most asked questions when it comes to swinging is: Why do it? There are several advantages to a swinger lifestyle:
- It is exciting and helps with exploration.
- Most have experienced independence and relationship revitalization.
- Most swingers would tell you that swinging has increased their marital satisfaction, contrary to what the public thinks that a swinging couple is a relationship bound for the rocks.
- You gain increased communication.
Not surprising, since the lifestyle comes with a set of challenges which are best solved by strong communication between partners. There are also some common misconceptions about swinging:
1. All swingers are overweight and ugly.
This is a common misconception. As mentioned before, swinger couples come in a wide range of variety, young and old, fat and thin and rich and poor.
2. Couples in the swing lifestyle are at a higher risk for STDs.
Despite what other people think about STDs and swinging, the truth is a swinging couple is no more at risk than singles that are sexually active. The risk of contracting an STD for a swinger couple is lower than the general public.
Some swingers report that it is lower since they are open in communicating the importance of safe sex and they tend to choose their partners better compared to single people.
3. Swingers are cheaters.
Swinger couples are no more dishonest from the rest of the average couple. In fact, they may be more honest. Having sex with other people is not cheating — having sex with other people without your partner knowing is cheating.
Swinger couples give consent that their partners will engage in sexual activities with other people.
4. Swinger couples are just couples who are going to get divorced.
In fact, most swinger couples have strongly committed relationships and the successful ones excel in the art of communication and honesty. Because of this, swinger lifestyle is not for everyone.
While some couples try being a swinger couple as a last-ditch effort to save a failing marriage, this is not advisable — the idea fails more than it succeeds.
5. Swinger couples are all drug addicts.
This is not true. The percentage of swinger couples that use drugs is just about the same with the public if not less. In conclusion, there are a lot of misconceptions with swinging couples and the swinger lifestyle.
However, the truth is swinging couples are perfectly normal people that come from all walks of life. These people simply choose to express and explore their sexuality in their own way and with the consent of all parties involved.
Mike Hatcher is a sex coach who has been writing about open relationships, swinging and sex, and relationship advice for alternative sex lives.