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Being strong in a relationship is the key to making one work.
By Mitzi Bockmann — Written on Apr 10, 2021
Do you want to be an emotionally strong woman in relationships? Of course, you do!
Being an emotionally strong woman in all aspects of our life is the goal, after all.
But, being an emotionally strong woman in relationships is easier said than done. It's often difficult because we don’t know what exactly will ensure to keep us as strong, independent, and desirable women in relationships.
Well, the key is having and striving for clear goals and reaching them.
Here are 5 strategies to becoming an emotionally strong woman in your relationships.
1. Be yourself.
First and foremost, in relationships, work, friendships, and life, be yourself.
You may think that people won’t like the person you are. You may believe that the person you are can’t succeed at work. And you find it hard to believe that anyone could ever be attracted to you.
All those things are things that you tell yourself but that aren’t necessarily true. Who you are has gotten you to where you are today with the friends and the life you have.
Why is it important to be yourself if you want to be an emotionally strong woman in relationships? Because how can you be an emotionally strong woman if you are trying to be someone you're not?
How can you stay strong knowing that you aren’t being authentic, that keeping up this pretense is increasingly difficult and ultimately you are going to be found out in the end?
It would only cause you anxiety.
So be yourself, always, in a relationship. If your person falls in love with who you are, you can feel confident in their love for you and that will give you emotional strength.
2. Don’t ignore red flags.
There's nothing that can cause more insecurity than ignoring red flags.
These are the signs that you see that should stop you from moving forward in your relationship. Unfortunately, red flags are often ignored.
For example, your partner is always talking about an ex, regularly drinks too much, has employment issues, is unkind to you, etc.
So, why would ignoring red flags make you not be emotionally strong in a relationship? Because you would know, deep down, that there are things that are — or will be — fundamentally wrong with this relationship.
And deep down, knowing that it’s there and that you're ignoring it — or worse, trying to fix it — will only make you feel insecure and anxious.
If you see a red flag, run. Run as fast as you can so that you can find someone who is flying only green flags. He's out there!
3. Don’t get clingy.
Clinginess is usually the result of your person pulling away for some reason. Where before, they used to always be there, now, for whatever reason, they aren’t. And when that happens, we become clingy.
Unfortunately, clinginess gets you nowhere. When a guy feels like you are you needing too much, they will more likely than not pull away, even if things are good. No one likes someone who "needs" them in an extreme way.
Not being clingy is especially important if your person is pulling away. If your person is pulling away and you sense it and just cling harder, your self-esteem will plummet.
You will start blaming yourself for what's happening and cling more so your person moves further away or even leaves. You will be left a shell of yourself — not emotionally strong at all.
So, if you're feeling clingy, ask yourself why. If it’s because your partner is pulling away, ask them why. If you're clingy because of an issue around abandonment or some such, talk to your person about it.
Communication is a key way to be an emotionally strong woman in a relationship. Being clingy is not.
4. Don’t give up your life.
For many women, when they get involved with someone, they give up their own lives. They turn their backs on their friends and their hobbies and the things that make them "them."
I remember once at a family reunion, I was reading the Bible, just because I had never read it before.
My sister told my daughter that there had to be a guy involved because I would never do anything new unless there was a guy involved. And if there was I guy involved, I would change to be just like them.
Hearing that didn’t make me feel good, but it was true. I do tend to turn myself into a pretzel to be what a guy would want and often become less of myself. And it has never served me.
So, if you want to be an emotionally strong woman in a relationship, stay yourself. Be with your friends and do those things that bring you joy.
These things will make you a stronger and better partner!
5. Speak up.
Communication is the key to success in any relationship. That if there are issues that need to be addressed or compliments that need to be given, everyone should speak up.
I am not saying to be unkind. I am saying don’t let issues get swept under the rug. Don’t assume that your husband knows what you want for your birthday. Don’t go to bed angry, sure that things will be fine in the morning.
It's essential for an emotionally strong woman in a relationship to speak up for what she wants so she can get what she wants and be happy.
It's on you. No one can read your mind. And problems that aren’t addressed right away can fester until they are very destructive.
And don’t forget, on the flip side, to tell your person everything that they are doing that makes you happy. If you do, you will most likely just get more of it.
Being an emotionally strong woman in a relationship is the best way to have it be a successful one.
Being a strong woman is very attractive to a man but you will also find that it can make you feel really good about yourself.
If you are who you are, you don’t ignore red flags or get clingy, if you keep your life and speak up for what you want, you will believe that you deserve love and happiness and you won’t be willing to settle for anything less!
Good for you for seeking to understand. Now go forth, be emotionally strong, and make it happen!
You can do it!
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Mitzi Bockmann is an NYC-based, certified life and love coach. Let her help you find, and keep, love in this crazy world in which we live. Email her at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com and get started!
This article was originally published at Let Your Dreams Begin. Reprinted with permission from the author.