People Who Set Boundaries Without Making It Awkward Often Use 4 Casually Blunt Phrases

Healthy relationship boundaries are essential to keeping every relationship alive and full of spark, but people often overlook them when building relationships.

Powerful boundaries come in many shapes and sizes, depending on the couple, but every relationship, platonic or romantic, should have four basic boundaries, and these phrases can help you set them.

People who set boundaries say a few casually blunt things:

1. 'I value our relationship, but I also need space to do my own thing'

woman setting firm boundaries without making things awkward telling man i value our relationship but i also need space to do my own thing Perfect Wave | Shutterstock

When they fall in love, couples want to spend every available minute together. The feelings that accompany falling in love are addictive and hard to walk away from, even for a short while.

However, it's important to spend time apart from the one you love. You know the old saying, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." It’s true.

Think about how you feel when you go on a diet. If you can’t eat ice cream for a month while you lose 5 pounds, do you miss it? It’s the same thing in a relationship. Stepping away from your partner, even for a bit, makes you both notice the void his or her absence creates.

And then the heart grows fonder. So, spend some time apart. Miss each other. Value each other. Keep that spark alive.

2. 'I want us to make decisions as equals'

In many relationships, one person ends up calling the shots. While this may work on one level, the relationship will ultimately become uneven. When things are uneven, the relationship changes.

So make an effort to keep the decision-making even in the relationship. If you are good at organizing your social life, then do that, but give him the opportunity to choose events. If he is good at managing finances, let him do that, but stay involved in where the money goes and why.

This doesn't necessarily mean a strict split in all areas, but rather a dynamic where both individuals feel they have agency and influence in the aspects of the relationship that matter most to them. It's important that neither of you is in charge. And it leads to number 3.

3. 'I expect to be treated with respect, even when we disagree'

man setting firm boundaries without making things awkward telling woman i expect to be treated with respect even when we disagree DimaBerlin | Shutterstock

One of the biggest romance killers in a relationship is a lack of respect and contempt. The saying "familiarity breeds contempt" is accurate and happens in many committed relationships.

In every relationship, respect matters. Respect each other within your relationship by speaking honestly, sharing your feelings, and openly expressing your needs. Do not attack each other personally or criticize each other’s behaviors and actions.

Also, don’t criticize your partner in public. The general rule of thumb is that you shouldn't tell anyone about your partner what you haven’t already shared with them.

When I was married, I talked to my friends way more about our problems than I did to my husband. This didn’t do our relationship any good because we weren't communicating or giving it a chance to improve. And when we were together, I treated my husband with contempt because I no longer respected him.

I am no longer married. So make sure you treat each other with respect, both inside and outside the relationship. While research doesn't refute that disagreements are a natural (and sometimes necessary) part of a healthy relationship dynamic, a respectful approach is vital to a relationship's longevity.

4. 'I won't sacrifice who I am for anyone else'

So many women, when they are in a relationship, become less of themselves. Many women take on their partner’s friendships, their hobbies, and their ways of doing things. Women must stay themselves in a relationship.

Why? Because every healthy relationship is based on truth, and if you are anything other than your true self, your relationship will never be healthy.

It is also important to keep respecting yourself, and you do that by being yourself. By staying friends with people who support you, pursuing hobbies you love, building a career you enjoy, and living a healthy lifestyle that serves you, you will wake up every day feeling good about yourself.

And when you feel good about yourself, your partner will love you even more because he knows you are being your true self, ambitious, smart, and willing to take risks to get what you want.

So be yourself in your relationship. A healthy relationship requires it. Every relationship needs healthy relationship boundaries to keep the romance going.

Most couples don’t think about boundaries until things start to go wrong. Don’t be that couple. Set boundaries early so you can stay on the right track as you move forward together.

Spend time apart, share power, treat each other with respect, keep personal hygiene personal, and stay yourself. All of those things will lead to the healthy romantic relationship you have always longed for.

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC-based Certified Life Coach who works with individuals striving to heal toxic relationships so they can find their happily ever after. Mitzi's bylines have appeared in The Good Men Project, MSN, PopSugar, Prevention, Huffington Post, Psych Central, among many others.