5 Ways To Save Your Doomed Relationship

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5 Ways To Save Your Doomed Relationship

Are relationship problems causing major disconnect between you and your partner? Understanding how to fix a relationship is often easier than people realize. But all too often, people believe their relationship is too far gone to revive.

They sit on the sidelines and watch it fade into the sky, turning their sunset into the dark of night. However, even relationships mired in heartache, deceit and hurtfulness can still be saved as long as you and your partner agree that your union is one worthy of redemption. Where there are two wills, there's a way.

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If you don't agree on this, saving your relationship becomes futile. But if you and your partner are willing to try, these pieces of relationship advice will help make things a bit easier. It won't be a walk in the park, but it won't be a walk into the gates of Hell either.

1. Keep it candid.

The first item on your to-do list is to talk openly to clarify what the problem is. It's best to have this conversation in private — no children around to emotionally scar or any interfering mother-in-laws. 

You should also have this conversation when you both are calm. In other words, don't have it after a knock-down, drag-out fight, and don't have it over a bottle of wine. Alcohol can make your problems seem worse than they actually are.

2. Make a list of what you want from one another.

In what way do you and your partner need to change? Be sure to make a balanced list, and refrain from putting 10 items under the "Hers" column and only two under the "His." 

Also, make sure that you list things that are truly conducive to saving a relationship. Agreeing to better support your husband is one thing, but agreeing to watch Sports Center six nights a week is another.

RELATED: 4 Things Couples In The Strongest Relationships Do To Achieve Healthy, Sustainable Love

3. Out with the old.

Before you can try something new, you must first stop the problem behavior.

If you've been ignoring your wife because you're tired after work, stop doing that. If you've been nagging your husband the instant he walks in the door, stop doing that. If you've been sleeping with your co-worker while your wife is out of town, stop doing that.

4. Check in on one another's progress.

After you've figured out the areas needing change and you've put forth the effort to cease your destructive behavior, agree to check in with each other every so often (perhaps once a month or once every six weeks). This allows you to assess your relationship, and what each of you have done to improve it (hint: praise each other for what you've each done right so far because change doesn't happen perfectly).

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Checking in periodically also allows you to address new issues and jump on potential struggles before they take root. Like your initial meeting, make sure this assessment is done privately.

5. Improve intimacy.

Start having sex again. Of course, it's possible that you've never stopped. Possible, but not likely. Sex is usually the first thing to go when a relationship begins sinking. However, getting back into sex helps you to get back into each other — literally and metaphorically. 

True, this might not feel natural at first. In that case, schedule intimacy with a fake-it-til-you-make-it approach. But after some time, you will find that sex is the purest and most actual way for you and your spouse to connect. This may lead you to realize just how much you've been missing out.

RELATED: 8 Things All Couples Can Do To Fix Their 'Broken' Relationships

Michael Griswold is a relationship coach. To learn more about keeping your marriage or relationship afloat, visit his website.

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