Divorced: Is It Ever A Good Idea To Remarry Your Ex?

Thinking about remarrying your ex? Factors to consider before making the decision.

Happiness can be found after divorce.

You survived round one. You married and divorced your ex. Now you find yourself thinking about remarrying the same person again. It could be for the sake of the kids or for your own sake. You and your ex have remained friendly and enough time has passed to heal old wounds. Surprisingly, you find yourself having feelings for your ex.

Remarrying a person you've divorced can be acceptable under certain circumstances. Perhaps the divorce wasn't extremely bitter or maybe you married young and now you're older and wiser. In some cases, couples still have young children or they've simply fallen back in love. These are all good reasons for reconsidering your previous decision. Although less than 4% of divorced couples remarry, it is not unheard of.


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Before diving back into marriage No. 2 with your ex-spouse, make a list of all the reasons you divorced in the first place. Are some of the same issues still there or have those issues been resolved? You should certainly ask yourself if you are truly in love or just comfortable with a familiar situation. Don't overlook any red flags such as communication issues, differing ways of handling conflicts or incompatible temperments. In the worst case, fear of being alone is preventing you from seeing the situation clearly.

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However, it is entirely possible to be genuinely compatible and in love with your ex. If all the caution flags have been cleared, then maybe you will find yourself joining the slightly less than 4% of divorced couples who marry each other again. It is far more common to become one of the larger percentage of divorced couples who rekindle their relationships without remarrying.

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Assuming the divorce wasn't caused by abuse, remarrying your child's other parent can be an easy adjustment for the children. However, if the first marriage was abusive, getting remarried can be extremely damaging to everyone involved. In the latter case, it might be best to seek professional counseling to address any co-dependency issues or underlying problems. You should also think about the ramifications a second divorce might have (especially if there are kids involved). The decision to remarry an ex might be easier if you are both childless. Either way, the rate of success is only slightly better than it was for your first marriage. Clearly, many factors must be taken into consideration when contemplating this life changing decision.


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