20 Signs You Need To Get To Marriage Counseling ASAP

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If you see any of these signs, call a therapist for marriage counseling NOW.

If you see any of these signs, call a therapist for marriage counseling NOW.

It’s crazy how we have a tendency to put off the very things that can bring us the most relief and greatest well-being. 

Some of the things that we put off, to our own detriment, include going to bed early enough to get plenty of sleep, a consistent meditation practice, going in for an annual physical, drinking plenty of water, getting a will and living will set up, exercising regularly, and going to see a marriage therapist when our relationship is out of whack.

Part of the problem is that we usually don’t even realize the downside of procrastinating and neglecting to do the very things that will help us succeed in our life and relationship.

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We can spend years minimizing issues, or even in outright denial. Often we wait until something "bad" happens and only then pull off the blinders. At that point, unfortunately, it may be too late.

So before something really bad happens to your relationship or marriage, let me help you take down the blinders, and shine a light on some of the signs that you may need to find a marriage counselor right away.  

Here are 20 signs that you and your partner should get to marriage therapy now:

1. One or both of you has threatened your relationship by suggesting a trial separation, breakup, or divorce.

2. You’re keeping secrets from your partner...or you’re pretty sure your partner is keeping secrets from you.

3. You no longer tell each other everything.

4. You fight too often, and never resolve anything.

5. You never or rarely have sex.

6. You’d rather be on Facebook for hours than talk to your spouse.

7. One of you has just admitted to cheating.

8. Your partner spends more time on his/her phone than talking to you.

9. Your communication is so bad that you almost never feel completely heard or understood.

10. You dread coming home after work.

11. Your marriage feels more like a prison sentence than a safe and happy haven.

12. You feel like "just roommates" or business partners.

13. You haven't had date night in over 3 months.

14. You no longer put your relationship first — even before the kids.

15. You notice you keep thinking of relationship "exit strategies."

16. You’re angry at your partner much of the time, and you’re not sure you can ever get over the growing resentments.

17. There’s jealousy in your relationship that never gets resolved.

18. You don’t feel like your partner always has your back.

19. You don’t feel emotionally protected by your partner, either when you’re alone, or when you’re around others.

20. You’re thinking about talking to a divorce lawyer, but you feel you should "try everything" first.

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These 20 signs say that you need marriage therapy. Talk it over with your partner and consider making an appointment with a couples counselor soon. If you can check off three or more of these statements as pertaining to you and your relationship, I urge you to call a marriage therapist today! 

Don’t wait until it’s too late. You owe it to yourself and your partner to get help and repair your relationship so that you can have a secure and happy future.

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If you would like to talk it over with a marriage therapist and see if couples counseling is the right choice for you, please call Lynda Spann at (719) 544-2016.

This article was originally published at Lynda Spann, PhD. Reprinted with permission from the author.