How To Have The Crazy-Intense Orgasm That NO ONE Talks About

Women's best-kept sexy secret...

orgasm in sleep unsplash

We all know that men have orgasms in their sleep.

Wet dreams are common from the time they go through puberty. The evidence is obvious the next day. 

But until recently, it wasn’t widely acknowledged that women have orgasms during sleep. 

But here's the big news —  80% of women have experienced sleeping orgasms.



Have you woken up after an intensely sexual dream? 

The kind where you didn’t want to open your eyes because you knew when you did your hot boss, or the neighbor down the street, would go back to being unattainable? 

You may have thought, "Wow, that felt like I had an orgasm…" 

The reality is, you probably did have an actual physical orgasm in your sleep!

So why isn't anyone talking about this?

In 1953, the Kinsey Report found that 37% of women had experienced a sleep orgasm. 

Research was done in 1983 that measured an increased heart rate, increased respiration, and a "very marked increase in vaginal blood flow" during women's sleep.  


This highlighted the physiological changes, but didn’t highlight brain changes (as that was difficult to do at the time) of orgasm. 

Since then, research has looked at the changes in the brain when a woman experiences orgasm. All the major parts of our brains light up when we have an orgasm, including in our sleep!

And new research tells us that even more women than we ever knew are having sleep orgasms!

In 2009, a poll found a full 80% of women reported experiencing sleeping orgasms.



So, how does it happen?

We know that blood flow (especially increased blood flow) = arousal. 

We move from arousal to climax through physical stimulation, but we can also get there through mental stimulation. 

Yes, we can actually think or dream ourselves to orgasm, and science has proven this! 

The research was done by Whipple, Ogden and Komisaruk in 1992, proving that some women reach orgasm with no physical stimulation, only on the basis of their thoughts and imagery.

During REM sleep (which is when we dream), various parts of our body receive increased blood flow. 

Increased blood flow in our lady parts mean sexual, and when we realize we are aroused, dreams become more erotic and more sexual. 


The result? A blockbuster of a sleeping orgasm.

But what if you find orgasm difficult or impossible? 

Well, then you are in luck. 

You can have sleep orgasms even when you find it impossible when you are awake. 

Many women are hampered in their ability to have an orgasm by stress and anxiety and distracting thoughts. 


Some are hampered by fear of letting go and fear of being out of control. 

Erotic and sexual dreams tend to be free of stress and anxiety, so it can be simpler to go from arousal to orgasm than when awake.

So, how do you do it?

Go to bed thinking positively about sex, and even do a little fantasizing. Then just close your eyes and enjoy your dreams. 


If you want to raise the odds, sleep on your stomach, which is shown to increase the likelihood of having orgasmic dreams!   

The research also suggests that people who are sexually liberal are more likely to climax in their sleep — so opening your mind to more forms of sexual expression and sexuality, just might lead to more orgasms!

Abstaining from having an orgasm during the day can also increase your likelihood of having a sleeping orgasm — but most of us prefer to be having regular orgasms when awake, too.


As an added bonus, when we have sleep orgasms, we have a better night’s sleep! Oxytocin released at the time of orgasm makes sleep better. 

For women, sleep orgasms begin in their 20s and continue throughout life. 

There is also evidence that the concentration of sleep orgasms is highest in our 40s and 50s, and that they get better with time.


So enjoy the gift of sleep orgasms, if you're one of the women lucky enough to have one.

And if not, keep trying! After all, it's worth it. 

Dr Lori Beth, The Intimacy Coach, is a Sex & Intimacy Coach, Registered Psychologist, Speaker, Educator and Author who helps individuals, couples and polyamorous groups to find and create their ideal lasting intimate relationships. She has an expertise in healing trauma, and is Kink knowledgeable. Follow her adventures here and on The Intimacy Coach and enjoy her podcasts. Write her at