7 Ways To Build Trust In Your Relationship To Increase Friendship & Intimacy
How much do you trust your partner?
getty Building trust in a relationship increases friendship and intimacy between a couple.
QS Bathroom Supplies recently studied trust in a relationship called Don't Touch My Stuff. The results found that couples had more off-limits items and banned chores at home than one would think.
The number-one item was their smartphone, and the reason why is because they didn't want their partner using it. Computers and cash are the next two.
Researchers found that most of the couples they studied felt this way at the beginning. But if they didn't loosen up, it was because their partner lost or damaged the item.
Top chores that men had off limits for women included taking out the trash, washing the car, and cooking meals. Meanwhile, for women, their off-limits chores for men included doing laundry, dishes, and cooking meals.
And the reasons why it was these chores, specifically, is one or a combination of these 3 reasons:
- They've messed up that chore in the past.
- They don't do that chore the way their partner prefers. ("I prefer to do it this way.")
- They're incapable of doing the chore the "right way."
This was also an indication of how much they trusted their partner in the relationship.
Turns out that when there's a banned chore, there's a decrease of trust in the relationship. And trust directly affects the friendship and intimacy in the relationship.
They also found that the longer a couple stayed together (meaning 10 or more years), the less off-limits items and banned chores in the home they had.
Friendship is the glue that holds your relationship together; it's what helps you get through difficult times.
If you've been in a relationship for a while, then you know there are many highs and lows.
With that said, here are 7 ways to build trust in your relationship.
1. Don't take your partner for granted.
Consistency will pay off in the end. You tend to trust those that are consistent. This means being there through the good and the bad times.
When you get home from work, you may feel tired, but your wife really needs you to listen. She's had a rough day with the kids and needs your support.
his may seem like a small moment, but if you stay and listen, it will pay off in a big way down the road.
2. Remember that you're a team.
This means that you need to take a genuine interest in your partner. You need to work on compromise together.
When you don't compromise you create the, "I win we and we lose" scenario. Nobody likes that feeling. Your relationship isn't a competition.
Work together on your team skills and create the "we win" motto This will help improve friendship and intimacy.
3. Don't hide in your relationship.
You shouldn't be with somebody that you can't be yourself with. Your partner needs to love all parts of you.
We all have good and bad in us. This will eventually come out, which means you need to be open about sharing your emotions.
When you don't share your emotions, you tend to stay stuck.
4. Remind yourself that trust is something you earn, and it takes time.
Trust is a daily commitment. It's really the small things that build trust. This means saying thank you and telling your partner what you appreciate.
For example, let your partner know that you appreciated them taking the time to help with the dishes. You know that work has been a little extra stressful these days.
A lot of small things over a long period of time will build and keep trust in a relationship.
5. Take risks together.
This means being vulnerable, which may feel scary. But this will help build trust in the relationship. This also means making a change together.
As humans, it's easy to become comfortable and not want to change things. This may bring up fear and anxiety for you. But, things are always changing.
You can't go back. Being vulnerable means getting outside of your comfort zone.
You can attempt to expand your social circle or engage in healthy habits together. You can go zip lining together on your next vacation.
6. Be supportive of one another.
When was the last time you shared your dreams with your partner? There needs to be safety in the relationship to do this. Or, have you just given up on your dreams?
Maybe you have the same dreams, maybe you don't. What's important is that you are supportive of one another's dreams.
When you are supportive of one another, your partner will feel like they can make a mistake without being judged.
7. Don't bad-mouth your partner to friends and family.
Nobody likes bad-mouthing in a relationship. You don't need to tell your best friend that your partner didn't put the dishes away. This is something you need to talk to your partner about.
You also don't need to share all the dirty laundry in the relationship on social media. Chances are, it will get back to your partner.
This will decrease trust in the relationship. Remember, once you say the words they are out there and you can't take them back.
It's important to remember that trust is built over time. Are you in your relationship for the long haul? What do you need to do to make it last?
Lianne Avila is a marriage and family therapist helping couples and individuals in San Mateo, CA who are looking to rebuild a close emotional connection and get their relationship back on track. Please subscribe to Lianne’s newsletter on Lessons for Love to learn more about her services and expertise.