A Self-Esteem Boosting Q&A Everyone Should Take To Heart

There's nothing wrong with you, so stop looking for things to fix.


Do you walk around thinking about all of the things that are "wrong" with you? Your faults play on repeat like a broken record in your mind, torturing you. So what exactly is wrong with you? Christine Hassler, author of Expectation Hangover, has an answer that may help you learn how to be happy with yourself, just the way you are.

Question: "What's wrong with you?" is a question you recently posed as a subject of one of your newsletters. That’s quite a confronting question—what's the answer?


CH: ... "Absolutely nothing! I unequivocally assure you that there is nothing wrong with you. Even if you feel stuck. Even if you cannot figure out what you want to do with your life or hate your job. Even if you snapped at your spouse or child this morning. Even if you are 10 pounds heavier than you want. Even if you are single and longing for a partner. Even if you had a terrible childhood. Even if you have debt. Even if you have been labeled with a diagnosis (so please stop looking for one)! There is not a single reason in the entire universe that anything could possibly be wrong with you."


Question: What inspired you to ask this question?

CH: "I recently heard a speech from a Ph.D, best selling Hay House author, and the Director of The Happiness Project and Success Intelligence speak.  Robert shared that as a psychologist he only felt slightly effective when he was seeking a diagnosis for people he was treating. His practice and purpose shifted when he stopped looking for 'problems' and started seeing people, and helping them see themselves, for who they truly are: whole and unbroken."

Question: So did he help them then?

CH: "He honored their stories and offered tools for relating to them because we all have life experiences we go through. However, he did not make their stories mean anything about them or taint the essence of who they were. Robert called us all forward to remember who we are so that we can remind others. We do this by forgiving ourselves for any judgments that perpetuate the misunderstanding that we are flawed in some way. We must stop looking at ourselves as improvement projects — consistently looking for the next quick-fix or upgrade."


Question: How did this misunderstanding develop in our minds?

CH: "When you were born you were totally aware that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. And then you got older, and things happened. And you started to forget the truth. You started moving out of the awareness of love and into fear, doubt, and judgment (read more about this here)."

Question: Why does this shift from love to fear take place?

Answer: "When we forget who we are we experience the myth of inadequacy and the plague of not-enoughness. Your true self is waiting on your recognition and acceptance. Do not deny it any longer. I invite you to ask yourself these questions: 'What is it like to be you when you are not judging yourself? When you are not criticizing yourself? When you are not trying to make yourself into anything?' Change your mind about yourself rather than continuing to attempt to change yourself."


Question: Wow, that is really a great way of looking at it. Along these lines, what are your final words?

CH: "Much love, and remember, you are absolutely precious and beautiful. There is nothing wrong with you!"