Heartbreak

Want To Breakup? 5 Tips To Do It The RIGHT Way

Gentleman, you can end a relationship with a woman without causing her to hate you and anyone who faintly resembles you for the rest of her life. There are two very small things that will help you accomplish this: courage and complete honesty.

If you don't have the first, you'll never achieve the second; therefore, you will probably end up with droves of broken and angry women behind you.

Ladies, most men do not set out to be complete jerks. In fact, most men end up being jerks because they call themselves protecting our feelings. Yes, they lie because they love us. I know it sounds crazy but in their minds it's true. To those guys I say, don't protect her feelings; respect her intelligence and preserve her dignity.

In your man's mind, he will phase the whole thing seamlessly. He will start building a relationship with the new woman and let you down easily. But herein lies the problem.

Guys listen carefully. What I am about to say is critical in how you deal with your wives, girlfriends, daughters, and even your mother. The reason your break up approach never works like you think it will is because women are creatures of hope.

Women are built with the ability to see the best and believe the best in all things, especially someone we love. Our sons, brothers, fathers, husbands, and lovers are near perfect creations of God's potential in our eyes.

If you give us a small strand of thread to hold on to, we will build an entire quilt of loving scenarios. What are some threads that keep us holding on? Words like, "Right now," "Maybe," "Sometimes," and, "I think."

As soon as we hear those words, we pay little attention to what comes next. If you say, "Right now I'm not happy," we hear that you can be happy again.

So here are some general rules to breaking up with a woman:

1. Don't TRY to tell the truth.

Say, "I want to break up." Don't leave out the very critical information that you never intended for the relationship being serious, or that you've been dating other people the whole time.

If you truly want to end the relationship, tell her the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

2. Don't build in caveats and scenarios.

If you want to break up, then do it. Don't build a scenario where the two of you may get back together later on if the stars align. Stay focused on the task at hand and go back to #1 if necessary.

Don't suggest the two of you go out sometime as friends. That is only igniting her hope reflex that a friendship may lead back to love.

3. Don't make excuses and blame yourself.

We all know the old, "it's not you, it's me" is a very frail attempt at making her feel better. Don't bother. She's going to feel bad for a little while but it won't be forever.

Men need to be courageous enough to face a woman's questions, crying, and criticism in the face of a break up. Besides, nobody needs a reason to break up with someone. If you don't want to be with a person then that's all there is to it.

4. Don't have break up sex or hookup.

Don't tell her that the relationship is over and then make love to her the same way you always did. You're simply filling a physical need but her emotions are in it. Trust me, if you want the relationship to be over then you have to cut all ties with her.

5. Don't call her for a while.

Don't call her and check on her a day or two later. In woman-speak that means you care for her, and if you care for her, why on earth would you want to break up with her?

By no means should you ever tell her that you still love her, especially when you know you have a new girl on deck. Don't give her a reason to activate that feminine hope.

When you are breaking up with a woman, hit her square in the eyes with it. Tell her that you don't want to be with her. It's going to hurt and she may cry over the loss of the relationship, but she would much rather cry over losing you than cry over being humiliated, lied to, cheated on, and taken advantage of.

That kind of hurt endures for a long time and will undoubtedly come back around to you one day.

This article was originally published at Simply Love by Kamryn Adams. Reprinted with permission from the author.