10 Ways To Get Over A Painful Breakup As Quickly As Humanly Possible

Photo: Unsplash: Caju Gomes
How To Break Up With Someone You Love & Get Over A Breakup Quickly

Everybody hates getting dumped, and unfortunately, feeling the pain of romantic rejection after relationships end is unavoidable. And for anyone asking, "How long does it take to get over a break up?", the answer is inevitably, "Far too long."

While learning how to break up with someone you love and mend your broken heart isn't easy, however, you can do it.

You don't have to live with the pain of heartbreak forever.

The torturous process of getting over a breakup with a person you've deeply loved causes a kind of hurt as real and painful as a physical injury. This is because not only do you experience the emotional wounds of rejection, but the pain receptors in your brain are actually affected.

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As explained in the New York Times, "A signal is sent through the vagus nerve from our brain to our heart and stomach. The muscles of our digestive system contract, making it feel as if there’s a pit in the deepest part of our stomach. Our airways constrict, making it harder to breathe. The rhythmic beating of our heart is slowed so noticeably that it feels, literally, like our heart is breaking."

Dealing with a breakup literally feels like being slapped across the face.

However, rejection does not have to destroy you. You can get over even the most painful heartache if you know what to do after a breakup.

If you're suffering from the pain of rejection after breaking up with someone you love, here are 10 tips for how to get over a breakup as quickly as possible.

1. Focus on the positive.

Don’t fixate on the negatives. Stay optimistic and pay attention to how far you’ve come in your life. Notice and appreciate your ability to overcome so many of life’s obstacles.

Tell yourself, "I’ve got this" — and believe it. Because you do.

2. Give yourself some TLC.

Following a painful experience, we all need to tend to our wounds and heal.

Make a conscious effort to practice self-care, and indulge yourself in things you may otherwise skip — such as hobbies, exercise, proper nutrition, or yoga — because you are worth it.

3. Accept the truth.

Life is, unfortunately, unfair, and this is a universal truth.

Acceptance that sometimes life doesn't go our way and exploring our expectations (re-setting the bar) will allow you to let go and find happiness from within.

4. Know that you're not the problem.

Romantic rejection is not a rejection of your character or you as a person.

There is nothing wrong with you. Just because love isn't reciprocated does not mean you are defective in some way. You are lovable.

5. Cherish yourself.

You are the only person that can give yourself value.

What you think of yourself is the most important, far more important than the opinion of others. As a human being, you have intrinsic worth.

Repeat these words to yourself: "I am worthy."

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6. Be resilient.

Resilience is the best predictor of success. Don’t let this one rejection ruin everything in your life.

You will overcome this and you will overcome worse than this.

7. Challenge unhelpful thoughts.

They’re doing nothing to help you achieve the life you want. Focus on healthy, positive, supportive self-statements. Notice what your wise internal mind is saying to you, ignore the hurt inner child’s negative self-talk.

No negative self-talk allowed!

8. Set goals for self-improvement.

Ask yourself: "What is my baggage? What do I need to do to overcome it?"

Then, create small, achievable steps in reaching each goal. You'll get there.

9. Get introspective.

Ask yourself: "What are my strengths and how can I magnify them? What are my weaknesses and how can I improve on them?"

Then, tell yourself, "I totally rock this!"

10. Get busy and get to work on your goals!

If you want to learn to become more outgoing, try joining a program like Toastmasters. If you want to meet new people, attend a Meetup or another local club meeting. If you want to improve your appearance, make an appointment with a hairdresser or a personal trainer.

Now is the time for action! You can do this!

Rejection and heartbreak can feel as painful as the loss associated with the death of a loved one.

However, at the end of the day, it's not your fault, and it's not an indication of your inherent worth as an individual.

You are a worthy, deserving person. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

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Joanne Erman is a leadership coach that works in private practice in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada.

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