'Doing It' Too Much Actually DECREASES Your Desire (Says Science)

When it comes to sex, more isn't necessarily better.

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In a recent study, Carnegie Mellon University concluded that married couples were happier when they experienced a higher quality sex life versus those that had a higher quantity of mediocre sex. The study also found that by not having sex as often, the couples maintained their desires for their partners better than the group of couples having sex more frequently.

Some may understand the findings, while others believe to the idea that more sex equals a happier marriage.


Let’s Think About It In Terms Of Holiday Food

When the holidays roll around, we begin to feel our mouths water for certain treats that only grace the buffet table on a specific days of the year. The more we think about the food, the greater our craving gets.

Once the holiday arrives and at last the food we've been dying to taste is right in front of us, the aroma and colors will completely take hold of the senses. Soon we raise a fork to our mouths and allow ourselves to taste the goodness; it's delicious and so worth the wait. We take our time, savoring the moment and appreciating how these separate ingredients came together in order to create this explosion of flavor. 


If you had your favorite holiday treat whenever you wanted it, you wouldn’t crave it and it wouldn’t seem special. One of the greatest keys to happiness is the anticipation. The time between knowing that it’s going to happen and when it finally comes to fruition is euphoric if you allow your mind to wander and fantasize.

Think about the last time you had lots of build up to the main event. You and your partner, more than likely, flirted about what was to come, sent each other some racy text messages, fantasized during the day about the last multi-orgasmic experience, teased each other (in a PG fashion) while you were getting the kids in bed, and then, when the time came, there you were, alone and wanting each other more than ever.

Imaginations Are An Asset

If we engage them. Anticipation can stoke the fires of desire and allow you to crave your partner even more. Increasing the number of times we have sex with our partner is the same as getting the recipe for your favorite holiday treat and having it whenever you want. It loses its uniqueness, and your desire will dissipate due to its availability. It’s no longer special and you lose the opportunity to anticipate the taste. It's the same with sex. Sure we can have it once a day, but then we would lose the time to dream, hope, and long for it. 


If imagination and anticipation are keys during the lead up stage, what makes us actually feel a sense of happiness and excitement during this stage and the main act? It’s all about the hormones. The story behind happiness is the chemicals in your brain. The hormones that our bodies release when we fantasize, dream, and experience something that we long for are adrenaline, epinephrine and dopamine.

Have you ever been in the middle of your fantasy and actually felt your heart skip a beat or beat faster? That's thanks to the neurotransmitters released from your brain. They make us feel excited and create sensations in our bodies that we associate with being happy and in love.

Rev Up The Results

If you want to ramp up the results of this study (having more quality sex), simply add some novelty into the sexual experience. When you add something new into the mix, you're releasing even more feel good hormones and neurotransmitters, all of which simulate how you both felt when you first fell in love.


The best final step of your sexual adventure is always cuddling. After climax, the body releases oxytocin and this hormone is responsible for connecting us to our partners. It's the bonding and attaching hormone, the glue, if you will, of monogamous relationships. It's important to actually have physical contact with your partner once that's released into your blood stream in order maintain the bond you share together. 

There you have it, my opinion as to why quality wins over quantity.

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