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Ugh, really?
By Jessica M. Miller — Written on Jun 11, 2015
You worked SO hard, got the big promotion and you're rewarded with ... a husband who's MORE likely to cheat.
That’s right ladies, a recent study reports marriages have an increased risk of infidelity when the woman is the breadwinner.
Sadly, it makes sense. When I realized my income could surpass my husband’s, I got scared. I understand the basic needs of a man’s psyche. He needs to feel masculine, dominant and like the provider, so when his female counterpart rakes in more dough, it’s a blow to his ego.
There Are Two SURE Ways To Boost A Man's Confidence: Sex And Money
If he can look at his bank account, know that he built it and gain the affections from a girl, he's set.
You could look at it in reverse. If a man is in a sex-starved marriage, he will bury himself in work in order to grow his net worth (soothing his injured ego) before the idea of cheating comes to mind.
Do All Men Have Fragile Egos?
No. The study reports that 15 percent of husbands who are completely dependent on their wives financially will cheat. But I will go so far as to say that most men in this scenario will think about straying.
Always Remember That Men Are Simple
If you’re the breadwinner, don’t panic! Just get really good at stroking your man's ego. I once treated a couple where her income lapped his at least two fold. The money talk went like this:
"I get it. It’s not fun for him to know that I will always make more money than him. It was a HUGE problem in our marriage until I learned how to make him feel more powerful in other ways.”
“I’m not going to lie, it sucks that she will always make more money. In the beginning, when we were juggling different roles, I felt like a failure. It was depressing.”
How Did She Empower Him?
“I let him take the lead on the big decisions in other areas of our life. And this sounds silly, but I have a good sense of direction and I know when we are lost. But I stopped telling him which way to go and simply sat back and enjoyed the ride. I don’t know, things like that really changed our dynamic.”
She did it right. She was confident enough to sit back and let him take the lead in other areas of their marriage. Another aspect of their marriage that made it work was that they had a healthy sex life. Again, she knew that he needed to feel wanted, so she wasn't afraid to initiate intimacy.
How Sex Boosts A Guy's Confidence
Men are misunderstood when it comes to sex.
It’s not about the act of having an orgasm; it’s about giving her pleasure. Once you are in a long-term relationship, you begin to see that he’s not just out to get off. He needs to see that you’re enjoying it too.
Think about that last time you had sex versus made love (TOTALLY different experiences). He gets more out of it knowing that you're enjoying yourself because of him. In that moment he's a MAN — mighty and powerful!
So if your salary eclipses his, don't panic. Instead, realize that your guy will need a little extra support from you to keep his self-esteem high.
Let him take the lead on important decisions from time to time and make sure he knows you find him sexy and value your intimate time together. It's really as simple as that, and it will make all the difference.
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