Love, Heartbreak

How And When Does A Woman Know She Wants To Have Sex With A Man?

When Does a Woman Know She Wants to have Sex

There are a lot of different reasons a woman will decide to sleep with a man. The “how” and the “when” don’t really matter as much as the “why.” A man wants to sleep with a woman because he is drawn to her, and a lot of the time that draw is physical. I’m not saying there aren’t other factors involved, but a lot of it is how she looks, how she carriers herself and how other men respond to her.

For a woman, it’s often chemistry and curiosity that will make a woman want to sleep with a man. If it’s not because she is in relationship with him and wants to sleep with him because she loves him, then it is often going to be a burning question of chemistry and/or curiosity that sparks her sexual attraction.

A woman is always asking this question in her head: “Is he the one?” And I don’t mean “the one” in a “meant to be” kind of way. She is asking, “Is he the one with whom my chemistry will be off the charts?” If the spark is intense, than she begins to ask, “How good could the sex be?” Curiosity will get a woman in bed with a man faster than anything else. The reason for this can be deceiving. The chemistry can be crazy and insanely intense when making out and/or fooling around, but then fall flat in the bedroom.

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Sometimes the most unlikely of connections, ones with very little chemistry, can burn into the most incredible fires when moving on to sex. But the question is always there. And because a woman is more complicated than a man in the way her body works, the question is always, “How good can the sex be?”

But if she doesn’t raise this question at all when she is with you, than she is not going to sleep with you. The questions of curiosity and chemistry must come into play at some point.

A woman isn’t going to sleep with you because you are “nice” or “sweet.” She will think of dating you if you are sweet or nice, but that won’t get her to sleep with you. And this is the curse of every “nice guy.” Why do women say they want a nice guy but end up with men that treat them badly? Well, there are a lot of reasons–insecurity, dependency, a toxic relationship, etc. But ultimately, it’s that men who are jerks often have confidence. Ah yes, I mentioned this before. Confidence creates a spark. It creates chemistry. A guy who isn’t confident will have a much harder time creating that chemistry; hence, the “nice guy” is passed over for the jerk, who can raise the question of how good the sex could be.

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Plus, the “nice guy” usually has one fatal flaw: He takes his lack of confidence and insecurities and puts them on the woman whose attention he is desperately trying to get. First of all, this is just bad in general. It’s not healthy. I’ve been in a relationship with the “nice guy,” the one who adored me and who wanted to treat me like a princess, and who put his lack of confidence on me. The relationship quickly turned toxic and just as destructive as if I had been dating a jerk.

So, before you feel like you are being overlooked because you are a “nice guy” who would treat her like a princess, stop. Rethink your entire view of this woman, because you need her approval way too much and in the end, if she does give you a chance, it will self-destruct for both of you. Second of all, understand that if you are trying to put your lack of confidence on a woman and are trying way too hard to get her attention, she is going to feel it, and it will repel her. This is what creates the “nice guy” curse. Women don’t sleep with guys who need them to build their confidence. Women become friends with these guys.

If you want her to sleep with you, than you are going to have to be brave enough to face your own insecurities and lack of confidence on your own, so that you don’t go to her to soothe you. Only then will there be a possibility of something happening, a spark igniting.

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Relationship Coach J. Rae

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This article was originally published at How To Get The Woman of Your Dreams . Reprinted with permission from the author.