Self, Heartbreak

How Privacy Heals Emotional Trauma

Privacy Can Help When You're Feeling Emotionally Unavailable

With the onslaught of cameras and social media, privacy in our society is often considered unnecessary. As the drama of other people’s ups and downs plays out on screens, people forget that human survival has been linked to cultivating private time for personal sanctuary. Sometimes, we need to be emotionally unavailable

Privacy has many benefits, whatever your level of emotional wounding (and we all have some). Wanting privacy does not mean you have anything to hide; rather, it shows self-respect and a deep-seated investment in caring for yourself.  Sometimes you just need to be alone, say the Boston Globe and Harvard Review.

Asking for privacy creates a sense of autonomy to grieve, break down and do whatever is necessary in your healing process — without the gaze of the world judging your every move. It takes away the pressure and eliminates a timeline. Sympathy and well-wishes can sometimes be just as intrusive as judgment or unkindness. If you need time and space to mourn, be as upfront as you can when communicating with those who seek to help.

Privacy allows you the space to be entirely yourself with no expectations. Living in the public eye brings constant pressure to behave in a certain way. Healing happens when you allow yourself to decompress without witnesses. 

Asking for alone time offers you the chance to be still, go inward and hear your own voice. It is easy to become disconnected from your own feelings when dealing with challenges from damaging relationships. When your inner compass is broken, looking outward for direction only creates more confusion. Instead, ask yourself questions in a curious way without worrying about the right answers and let them show up in their own time.
Space also allows you to filter your thoughts and discern what's really important to you. Keeping a journal is often a very private and cathartic way to sort through thoughts and painful past experiences. You may discover patterns, gain insight and confidence to see yourself in a new light — a light you brought up on your own.

Privacy is also a great way to cultivate creativity, which in turn heals emotional pain and trauma. When you are bombarded with outside stimulation, it is hard to get creative, especially if you are not used to taking the time to express yourself. The act of creativity, be it through painting, writing, drawing, dancing or a variety of other options, actually expands and opens your heart, allowing you to find love for yourself and life.

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said that "Nothing can bring you peace but yourself." Privacy and solitude will nourish and strengthen your inner reserves and act like a salve to emotional pain. People need people, but you can be in a better emotional space when you give yourself and those you love permission to enjoy the privacy and sanctity of time alone.