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The infatuation phase may be over, but that doesn't mean he's over you.
By James Allen Hanrahan — Last updated on Dec 29, 2023
When you meet a guy you like, it can seem like a miracle.
When he starts out treating you like a queen, it's exciting.
But the hard part is when he starts slowing down, not texting as much, and not calling to plan dates. This can lead you to believe he's not interested in you or in pursuing a relationship.
Here are 3 magically alluring ways to keep him interested forever:
1. Don't be discouraged when he slows down
When a guy first meets you, it's natural for him to want to spend all his time with you. He's focused on the goal of being with you. The infatuation phase is like a bubble.
It's also natural after a few weeks for him to slow down. This is not necessarily a bad thing.
Since he's probably been neglecting his friends, work, and hobbies, he's just coming back into balance. For a guy to have a relationship with you, in the long run, he will need to integrate you into the rest of his life.
The key is to not take it personally and ask him what's wrong. Once you understand that this is natural, give him space and he will come bouncing back to you.
2. Don't freak out when he takes you for granted
Once a guy has you, he considers you part of his life. This may seem like bad news because he takes you for granted.
Ironically, this is good news because he now considers himself to be in a relationship with you.
I'm not suggesting that he can treat you badly; I'm suggesting that he treats you as a normal part of his life. This is a very good thing; it means you can start building a life together.
3. Keep your boundaries
While he may be normalizing, you want to remind him that the courtship is not over.
You do this by not accepting last-minute invitations and by spending time with your friends and your hobbies.
You may be tempted to want to spend all your time with him but trust the spaces in between. Men fall in love when they're away from you.
When he slows down know that it's natural and don't try to speed him back up.
If you start to think he's taking you for granted, reframe it. This means you're part of his life which is a good thing, within reason.
Always keep your boundaries and let him know when things don't feel good.
This is the key to keeping him interested because it causes him to stretch to be in a relationship with you.
Your boundaries require him to be a better man. This is the unconscious reason he fell in love with you in the first place and the reason your relationship will last for the long run.
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James Allen Hanrahan is a dating and relationship coach for women based in Los Angeles. He's also the author of "A Life of Love" and "Dating Advice for Alpha Women."