5 Ways To Take Back Your Power After He Cheats On You

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surviving infidelity
Heartbreak, Love

Don’t let infidelity steal your spirit.

All the signs were there. You had seen them for days, maybe even weeks but you held onto the hope that maybe you were wrong. Then, reality sets in and you realize that you had been right all along.

The man that swore to love you forever has found solace in another woman’s arms.

The moment when you realize that you are no longer the center of his world can be beyond heartbreaking. You begin to wonder what you could have done or said differently to keep him around.

Feelings of hurt, loss, and betrayal all begin to seep in. But you have to realize what infidelity really is if you want to take back your life.

Taking Back Your Sanity

The pain from infidelity is something like a weed. If you let it grow, it will consume you. It can grow deep into your heart and wrap around you, tainting all future relationships.

You will begin to think that all men will treat you this way. Then, you start thinking that it was you all along and how you are tainted goods. But, these thoughts and feelings don’t have to lead you to a dark place.

There are ways for you to regain yourself. Sure, mourning will have to take place before you can move on. But you can’t let that period of mourning over your lost love kill your future self.

Rules to Live By

The first thing you have to do is regain your ability to think clearly. When it comes to infidelity, you will think that it was your fault. He may even place blame on you, saying how it was your fault that he did it in the first place.

You have to understand that this way of thinking is psychological warfare. He doesn’t want to admit his mistake so he places the blame elsewhere. Most likely, the reason he cheated was something that was buried within him and had nothing to do with you.

Once you realize this, the easier surviving infidelity and healing will be for you. Here the 5 rules you need to live by to figure out how to be happy after being cheated on:

1. Don't believe everything you hear.

Don’t believe the voices that tell you how you should have been more attentive. Don’t believe the words that spill from his lips saying how it was your fault. It wasn’t.

You weren’t the one to push him to infidelity. He did that himself. You have to remember that you have a life too. You have hopes and dreams that you are striving to reach for too. His problems are his and his alone.

2. Walk away from the problem.

Just because you are turning your back on the problem doesn’t mean you are ignoring it. When you find yourself thinking of all the signs that you should have seen earlier and didn’t act on them, don’t dwell on them. Think about them for a moment and learn the lesson for next time.

Don’t give them a foothold in your life. Dealing with infidelity is hard, especially since you are tied to your emotions. But, if you can step back and walk away from yourself for a moment, you will see the lesson life was trying to teach you.

3. It's okay to let go.

There is a country song about a woman who let herself go. In the song, she finally did all the things she wanted to do but couldn’t because her husband wouldn’t let her.

When you are dealing with infidelity, you have to remember what it was like being singleNot that you will divorce or anything like that, but you have to get out of the mundane routine you have been in for so long. You have to remind yourself (and him) that you are still as adventurous and attractive as the first time you met.

The reason most people cheat is to feel the excitement and the spark that comes during the "honeymoon" phase of a new relationship. If you let yourself go and regain that spark for life, you will find your happiness.

Plus, you may just find your true happiness and be surprised that it no longer involves him.

4. Give yourself a break.

During the period of finding out about his infidelity and regaining yourself, you will come to a crossroads. You will find yourself on an emotional roller coaster wondering which way the ride will go next.

Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t have the answers. Don’t make excuses either. Let things just be and settle.

Don’t just jump back thinking that things are fixed. Know that things are fixed. Sometimes, this process can take months or even years and that is okay.

5. Take it one day at a time.

Most important thing you can do for yourself is to take things one day at a time. Allow yourself to feel whatever you need to. Keep the lines of communication open to your friends and family.

Take a walk and remember that this too shall pass.

C. Mellie Smith is a former betrayed spouse who was able to pick up the pieces and move on with her life after several affairs rocked her marriage. She knows how much infidelity hurts, so click here to get the help and resources you need to stop the craziness and get over the pain and heartbreak of the betrayal.