Love, Self

What To Bring To His Place (and What Not To Leave) When You Visit

Ending up at his place for the first few times is pretty exciting and nerve-wracking all on its own. Understanding that what you do and how you act during these first few experiences at cohabitation will tell your man more about you than any words ever could.

Understanding a few key points can help you show the man of your dreams that you are fun, sexy, and responsible. He’ll begin to see you as a good caregiver and someone indispensable in his life over your first few visits to his place - or you could show him that you are definitely not the one.

If you are asked to swing by for the night, or if you end up spending the night unplanned after watching a movie or sharing a few drinks, you may want to bring your essentials with you the next time you visit your man. As a general rule, you want to bring everything you need in one little bag, and not leave anything behind when you leave. Don’t worry about the basics, like towels, soap, or shampoo – but you shouldn’t need to ask him for anything like contact solution, or tampons (he might surprise you).

Bring a toothbrush, deodorant, and a change of underwear and socks. Again, everything should fit in one little bag that you can hopefully keep out of sight. Coming over with luggage or all your make-up and accessories will only clutter up your man’s bathroom. It will also show that you are high-maintenance, not very courteous, and over-confident that you are the only woman in his life.

You definitely never want to bring over bags of luggage, your dirty laundry unless you ask or he invites you to wash it at his house, or your pets or friends if unannounced and not discussed. You don’t want to bring over photos or stuff to hang on the walls. Don’t park your broken down car in his driveway, either – if you know you drive a bucket that’s leaking oil, park it on the street! Consideration is everything.

Men are territorial animals, so don’t invade his space until he invites you to do so. How will you know when it's okay to leave your things at his place? He'll say things like, "It's okay to leave your shirt in the closet," "Don't worry about the shoes at the front door, you can come and get them later," or "Why don't you leave your toothbrush in the cabinet?" When you hear him say those magical words, you now have the official green light. When men start sharing their territory, this clearly means they want and expect you to return on a more serious note.

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What you leave behind can also tell a man a lot about you - how respectful or disrespectful you are, and how likely he will keep pursuing the relationship. If you are feeling naughty or kinky, leave a clean pair of your underwear underneath his pillow with a note. Don’t leave it under the  bed or stuck in the couch for someone else to find later. Don’t leave your toothbrush either; keep it in a container in your purse.

Spraying your perfume on his pillow to remind him of you is definitely not okay. Leaving one or two small notes is flirtatious and fun. Leaving more than two notes gets a bit much and may freak your man out.

Another great way to not only open up lines of communication but to judge exactly where your man’s feelings are for you, is to ask him if he likes it when you spend the night. If he says yes, ask him why he likes it. If he tells you that it’s because he loves having sex with you, then perhaps that’s all the relationship will be about. If, however, he tells you that he loves being around you, loves waking up next to you, loves snuggling with you in bed, and loves spending the evenings together, then that will be a clear signal that he is really enjoying your company and not just your sex.  7 Positions to Sleep in that Will Excite the Man of Your Dreams

Just remember that you are a guest at his place until you both move in together. Never take for granted that his door will always be open to you, and definitely don’t leave a mess behind when you leave. As an example, one of our experienced Relationship Coaches has a partner of 14 years who would clean his place when she stayed the night and he was off at work. When he returned home later that evening, and she was gone but the house was tidy and neat, her thoughtfulness was a nice reminder of why he was falling in love with her.

The impressions you leave of what a future with you is going to be like will directly impact if the man of your dreams commits to you or continues looking for the woman of his dreams.


- Relationship Coaches Paul V. and Zach S. | Facebook

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