How To Stop Getting Trapped By Your Own Sadness And Finally Feel Joy Again
Eight crucial steps to start living the beautiful life you want and deserve.
ViDI Studios Via Shutterstock | Sparklestroke & Diery's Designs Via Canva I’m always amazed at the power of our human minds. Almost daily, I hear another story of how somebody overcame physical disease or injury simply with the power of their mind.
Here are a few things I’ve used over the years to stop feeling stuck in your emotional pain and find the inner strength to start feeling joy again.
Eight ways to stop feeling trapped by sadness and find joy again
1. Do something drastically outside your routine and comfort zone
Take a road trip (even if it’s just one day), treat yourself to an ice cream cone, go skydiving, or visit a nudist colony. Anything to shock you out of your current mindset. Don’t believe the people who tell you to "just stay busy." That’s not enough.
Staying busy within your normal routine is only self-medicating — tackling the symptoms of emotional pain and not the deeper problem. The emotional pain will return as soon as you slow back down. Doing something completely off the hook will open your mind to new possibilities and that’s what you need.
So don’t read any further — go do something new right now!
2. Take yourself on a date
Pamper and love yourself up. Go to a play or a walk on the beach. Do something that says to yourself, “I love you.” And a word of caution: If your emotional pain involves another person, don’t do anything that the two of you might do together.
3. Deep clean the house
Get rid of any objects in your immediate environment that remind you of the cause of your emotional pain. If you don't see it, you'll forget about it — and you won't feel renewed hurt from that particular item anymore.
4. Eat, sleep, and exercise
Motion causes emotion, so up-level your current physical routine. Get at least eight hours of sleep and eat healthily. After all, your body is your mind’s servant. Feed it, and let it do its job!
5. Forgive yourself
Forgiveness is simply letting go of all judgment. Judgment comes from old stories no longer relevant to your new growth. Forgive others and especially yourself.
Remember, everything that happened happened, you can't change that, so look for the learning experience in everything.
6. Express gratitude
This is always my go-to. I include it in everything because it works for everything — but it works for emotional pain, in particular. Write down five things you’re grateful for each morning and reread them before going to bed. This daily reminder of your gratefulness can help you along your path to healing.
7. Give for no reason other than it feels good
Nothing works better for getting you out of your self-pity like giving to others. Find someone who has it worse than you and reach out to them. If you can’t find anyone in your immediate circle, do what I do. Go to the grocery store, buy a bouquet, and hand individual stems out to strangers. Magic will happen, I promise.
8. Journal about your feelings
Keep a thought journal. Write your feelings down on paper so you can see them. Then ask yourself what thoughts are behind them. Once you realize they’re just thoughts, you can investigate new thoughts that will allow you to feel the way you want to feel.
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Dr. Joe Joe Dispenza, who co-authored several books including You Are the Placebo and Evolve Your Brain, offers some solid science around the untapped potential of the human brain.
Most of us use that power daily without even realizing it. The problem is, when you put something that powerful into unskilled hands, it usually doesn’t turn out well. At least that’s been my experience. I still emotionally crash and burn quite often when I allow my thoughts to drive my bus.
The way I see it, pain is an essential part of life. We’re not going to avoid it for as long as we’re here in these human bodies, so the best thing to do is try to figure out how to use it as an ally. As they say, if you can’t beat ’em join ’em.
Emotional pain is like your buddy sitting in the passenger seat while you are driving. Every time he notices you nodding off, he slaps you. I always thank him after, but not while he’s whacking me because it hurts.
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Pain felt in the present moment sucks. Whether it’s physical or emotional makes no difference. The reptilian brain (our reactive brain) kicks in and everything else is out the window.
Whether it’s self-inflicted or not, you just automatically do what you have to until you get through it. If it’s too intense your body will go into shock until you’re able to deal. There’s no rational thought process involved; you just do it.
The thing is, though, if you’re sitting here reading this, you’ve already survived that kind of acute in-the-moment pain. The emotional stuff that lingers and gnaws at your gut for the next weeks, months, or years is something entirely different. That’s always self-inflicted.
The good news is if you’re causing this emotional pain, you can stop it. Most importantly, know you are never alone. You can reach out to a friend or a family member. It's time you got over your emotional pain and started living the beautiful life you want and deserve. Rock on!
Greg Boudle is a recovery life coach, published author, and professional speaker.