8 Ways To Stop Emotional Pain In Its Tracks (& Help Yourself Heal Faster)
Get back in control.
getty I’m always amazed at the power of our human minds. Almost daily, I’m hearing another story of how somebody overcame physical disease or injury simply with the power of their minds.
Dr. Joe Dispenza, who authored several books including You Are the Placebo and Evolve Your Brain, offers some solid science around the untapped potential of the human brain.
Most of us use that power on a daily basis without even realizing it. The problem is, when you put something that powerful into unskilled hands, it usually doesn’t turn out well. At least that’s been my experience. I still emotionally crash and burn quite often when I allow my thoughts to drive my bus.
The way I see it, pain is an essential part of life. We’re not going to avoid it for as long as we’re here in these human bodies, so the best thing to do is try to figure out how to use it as an ally. As they say, if you can’t beat ’em join ’em.
Emotional pain is like your buddy sitting in the passenger seat while your driving. Every time he notices you nodding off, he slaps you. I always thank him after, but not while he’s whacking me because it really hurts.
Pain felt in the present moment sucks. Whether it’s physical or emotional makes no difference. The reptilian brain (our reactive brain) kicks in and everything else is out the window.
Whether it’s self-inflicted or not, you just automatically do what you have to until you get through it. If it’s too intense your body will go into shock until you’re able to deal. There’s no rational thought process involved; you just do it.
The thing is, though, if you’re sitting here reading this, you’ve already survived that kind of acute in the moment pain. The emotional stuff that lingers and gnaws at your gut for the next weeks, months, or years is something entirely different. That’s always self-inflicted.
The good news is if you’re causing this emotional pain, you can stop it.
Here are a few things I’ve used over the years to stop feeling that emotional pain and find the inner strength to move on and start healing:
1. Do something drastically outside your routine and comfort zone.
Take a road trip (even if it’s just one day), treat yourself to an ice cream cone, go skydiving, go visit a nudist colony. Anything to shock you out of your current mindset. Don’t believe the people who tell you to "just stay busy." That’s not enough.
Staying busy within your normal routine is only self-medicating — tackling the symptoms of emotional pain and not the deeper problem. The emotional pain will return as soon as you slow back down. Doing something completely off the hook will open your mind to new possibilities and that’s what you need.
So don’t read any further — go do something new right now!
2. Take yourself on a date.
Pamper and love yourself up. Go to a play or a walk on the beach. Do something that says to yourself, “I love you.”
And a word of caution: If your emotional pain involves another person, don’t do anything that the two of you might do together.
3. Clean house.
Get rid of any objects in your immediate environment that remind you of the cause of your emotional pain.
If you don't see it, you'll forget about it — and you won't feel renewed hurt from that particular item anymore.
4. Eat, sleep, and exercise.
Motion causes emotion, so up-level your current physical routine. Get at least eight hours of sleep and eat healthily.
After all, your body is your mind’s servant. Feed it, and let it do its job!
5. Forgive.
Forgiveness is simply letting go of all judgment. Judgment comes from old stories that are no longer relevant in your new growth. Forgive others and especially yourself.
Remember, everything that happened should have happened — because it did. There is a learning experience in everything.
6. Express gratitude.
This is always my go-to. I include it in everything because it works for everything — but it works for emotional pain, in particular.
Write down five things you’re grateful for each morning and reread them before going to bed. This daily reminder of your gratefulness can help you along your path to healing.
7. Give.
Nothing works better for getting you out of your self-pity like giving to others. Find someone who has it worse than you and reach out to them.
If you can’t find anyone in your immediate circle, do what I do: Go to the grocery store, buy a bouquet of flowers and hand individual stems out to strangers. Magic will happen, I promise.
8. Journal.
Keep a thoughts journal. Write your feelings down on paper so you can see them. Then ask yourself what thoughts are behind them. Once you realize they’re just thoughts, you can investigate new thoughts that will allow you to feel the way you want to feel.
Most importantly, know you are never alone. You can reach out to a friend, a family member or me anytime for support.
It's time you got over your emotional pain and started living the beautiful life you want and deserve. Rock on!
Greg Boudle is a transformation coach for the recovering man. After spending decades as a hopeless addict he rewrote his own life story and transformed his past into the gifts he uses to help others. His coaching program, “Hero’s Journey – Revised Edition” has helped men in mid-life return from the brink of suicide to living happy, fulfilling lives with purpose. To find out more about Greg and his mission visit lifebeyondclean.com or as Greg would prefer it, shoot him an email at greg@lifebeyondclean.com.
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