Why Older Men Choose Younger Women (Even When You're A Much Better Match)

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Love

Most single women in their 30s and 40s are sick and tired of guys their age dating younger girls.

How many of us can relate to being dumped by a guy who said he wasn’t ready, only to find out that he proposed to someone else? Someone younger, of course...

So many women are fed up with guys who keep getting older, but never stop dating 25-year-olds.

Why do older men like younger women instead of women their own age?

You would think that a 45-year-old man would want a relationship with a woman at least somewhat close in age. Wouldn’t they want someone who has a similar life experience, who has some maturity and a similar level of intellectual development?

A lot of times, they don’t seem to. In fact, research shows that, at all ages, women prefer men who are close to them in age, while for men, the ideal age for women remains a consistent 22 years old.

At what age are men most attractive? According to "Dataclysm" by author and OkCupid co-founder Christian Rudder, women tend to like a man who is slightly older than them in their 20s, and when they are in their 30s they like a man who is a few years younger than them.

However, over time the trends in attractiveness for females decreases, starting the highest in a women's 20s and decreasing over time. A man's attractiveness is the opposite and starts increasing over time, reaching their peak at 50, then decreasing.

RELATED: 5 Weird Things Men Want In A Woman, According To Science

Do men prefer younger women?

Some men prefer young women and it's not because women in their 20s have firmer skin; rather, it's because they don't have as firm opinions on things and have more admiration for older men.

According to one study, even the claim that men “naturally” prefer younger women is "an assertion of power cloaked in the language of evolutionary psychology."

An older man probably could love a younger woman; however, their relationship will have to deal with generational differences and a gap in understanding and knowledge. With the right communication level and maturity, a relationship between an older man and a younger woman does have the possibility to thrive.

What is it called when an older man likes a younger woman?

Little did you know, there is actually a nickname for both a man who exclusively dates younger women and a woman who exclusively dates older men. Ever heard of a cougar? A cougar is a woman who exclusively dates younger men.

Much like a cougar, the word for a man who dates a younger woman is also influenced by a big cat.

A manther is a term to call a man who dates younger women, and a panther is what to call a woman who dates older men. 

Many single women who are otherwise successful, beautiful, and talented find themselves passed over for younger women.

Here are eight important questions to ask yourself about your own attitude towards men and relationships:

1. Do you love and appreciate men and their differences?

2. Do you harbor resentment towards men for the hurt they have caused?

3. Are you afraid or cynical about relationships or marriage?

4. How do you see yourself?

5. Why do you want to get married?

6. Why do you like this particular man?

7. Are you having fun?

8. Do you feel good physically, mentally, and emotionally with or without a man?

High-value men have a lot going for them and are looking for a high-value catch. Someone who will make their lives better, and who is hopeful, optimistic and has great and wonderful things ahead of them.

Your attitude and energy will either lift a guy up or bring him down. Unless a man feels like his life will be better by marrying you, he will not do it.

Instead, as the world is his oyster, he will opt for what is easy — the breath of fresh air a young girl who is fun and light gives.

RELATED: 7 Things That Happen When You Start Dating An Older Man

Here's one man's candid explanation why older men like dating younger women:

Peter (whose name has been changed for the sake of privacy) is a 43-year-old, highly successful divorcé who has been dating 23-year-olds since he was 36. Peter has no filters and will tell you exactly what he thinks — void of all emotions and social values.

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(Be warned, his comments are very offensive and I disagree with his statements. However, you can extrapolate invaluable insights into how to attract successful high-quality men.)

“Women in their late twenties walk around with a ticking time bomb. Every minute takes them closer to their 30s.

Society tells them that having a good relationship sets the foundation of their life, and all their friends are getting married so they walk around in their head thinking: Are you the one? Are you committed? Are you going to marry me? When are you going to propose?

It is a lot of pressure. Who wants that? The fun of just dating is gone. They are on a mission. Plus, many of them don’t even know what they want. They just want to be proposed to because it is a badge of honor.

Thirty-year-olds have a compounded set of issues. Not only are they still in a rush to get married, but they are also often bitter. Like they’ve been chewed up by the dating game and are pretending to be optimistic, all the while harboring a secret hatred and disillusionment of men.

Deep down, many of them think men suck, they never commit, and all the good men are gone or taken. Each time they meet men they think: Are you going to hurt me? Are you another loser? Are you another time-waster? What are your issues? Why haven’t you settled down yet? Or why did you get divorced?

They are sick of dating and just want to find anyone and get this dating and marriage thing over with. 

To top it all off, many women in their 30s are very successful in their own right. But I want a woman, not a business colleague. I get plenty of stress and competition at work.

The young ones are googly-eyed, easily impressed, fun, and free-spirited. They don’t pressure me consciously or subconsciously to get married and have kids. Whatever happened to light-hearted fun?"

RELATED: What Men Really Think Of Dating Older (And Younger) Women

Jasmine Von Hatch is a dating and relationship coach who specializes in communication problems, empowering women, online dating, relationships, and more.