Love, Self

What Men Really Think: Your Questions Answered!

What Men Really Think: Your Dating Questions Answered!

By Marcus Osborne for

It's been a while since we tackled your email questions and comments so here we go. Some of them were a little ... er, unique? Oh well. Our job as Your Straight Male Friends is to simply answer the questions as honest as we can. You're allowed to ask or present any dating situation you can think of  — no matter how oddly out of place it seems. Here it goes...

Do you ever wish you were a woman?Dayna, San Francisco, CA

Dayna, what are you going for with this question? Hmmm, let me see. Do I wish I was a girl or woman? Periods, sexism, making seventy cents to every dollar a man makes, being sexualized and objectified, being constantly compared to models and Hollywood starlets, thereby creating a distorted image of womanliness, wearing those extremely comfortable high-heeled shoes 10 hours a day, having some perverted guy groping me on a date — even though I've already told him that isn't happening — not tonight, not ever; pretending to be an airhead just to get some goober's attention, getting a job for how I look as opposed to how capable a candidate I am, etc. Where do I sign up? Guys do not want to be women. Those that do want to be women, usually find a way to become a woman and more power to them. Meanwhile, the rest of us knuckle-draggers will keep watching the game, making fart jokes and enjoying porn — for the stories of course.

In today's society, do you still feel you have to be the "provider?" —Pamela, Santa Barbara, CA

The question is, do you still feel that your man, whoever he may be, has to "provide" for you? I mean, that's such a loaded question. Look, every guy has the built in societal pressure, fair or not, of having to be the primary provider for his family or girlfriend or wife. Is that fair? In this day and age, probably not. We believe that an independent, smart, resourceful woman like yourself can and should be able to stand on her own two feet, and that no woman or man should expect that anyone is going to take care of them. It's 2013 not 1948. That said, if a woman seeks that in a relationship and she finds a guy who seeks the same traditional set up, then more power to them both. Whatever works. I will say this though — if you want that type of relationship, the traditional man-hunt/woman-cook set up — make that clear to your guy sooner rather than later.

Why do men love porn? —Carolyn, Panama City, FL

Carolyn, my dear, what's not to love?

Why do men scratch themselves in front of us? —Clarissa, New York, NY

Because you won't do it for us.

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