By Eric Amaranth — Written on Sep 16, 2010
I have noticed that within the past few months that it's harder to orgasm during intercourse. I have to use the thinnest condoms for it to happen.
I know it's because my hands have gotten rough due to personal trainer-level powerlifiting training and manually washing dishes. Weightlifters talk about filing down the caluses from handling the weights. That's one thing, but more general is the toughening of the skin all over the palm. It makes masturbation more uncomfortable. The skin on my coronal ridge is slightly sore sometimes. Gradually, the desensitization during intercourse with its often more subtle sensation, through a condom, set in. My lovers' hands were feeling softer than my own too. Here's what I'm doing about it, and it's working:
* Wearing the Gripad (grip pad) on both hands www.gripad.com while weightlifting. Saw these one night in a health food store. They arent gloves, which still create calouses in my experience. They cover like a disk all the parts of your hand in primary contact with the weight handle. Feels great, hands dont get hot, and I like the contact I have with the weight. I never walk into the gym now without them. I'm not trading my penis sensitivity for muscles.
* Using the best rubber gloves ever. They're called True Blues: The Ultimate Household Gloves. Their strengths are a soft cotton lining, thick outside so I can use them in hot water, easy on and off. If you're dividing duties in your house, doing dishes crosses your path and will dry out and rough up your hands. They're also latex-free.
* ShiKai All Natural Hand and Body Lotion: ShiKai makes the best hand lotion I've ever used. I buy it in health food stores, Whole Foods, etc. It makes a big difference.
I no longer have to file down calouses on my hands, so I know the system is working. It also makes a difference to how my fingers feel inside my partner. Her vagina and rectum like silky-soft things. I also like oil-based lubricants like Sweet Almond oil over water-based lubes for flavor and slippery duration reasons for masturbation and oral sex. Certain oils have gotten a bad rap and its one catagory of sex info that both Betty and I diverge with the rest of the sex education-aligned community. As long as it's a pure nut oil, olive oil, or seed oil (cold-pressed if possible) it will do fine.
Another option for men with very rough hands that aren't coming back to baby-soft for a while is the Fleshlight. www.fleshlight.com. It's a men's sex toy that simulates a vagina and has sold 8 million worldwide. How many men have had to turn to vaginal or oral sex for their orgasms because their hands, in addition to all the other reasons, were simply too rough? Try it out! You can do threesome play with your woman by having her sit on your face and receive your mouth down there while you enjoying all that has to fuel your libido, while she controls a Fleshlight on your cock. If she's wanting to orgasm, it can be much easier for her to pump her hand up and down holding the Fleshlight than use her head, mouth, and hand to make it work. Less skill requirements often allow for greater focus for her, which means more focus on her own build-up to orgasm. You may even come together!