6 Simple Steps To Kick Shame To The CURB

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6 Steps To Kick Shame At The Curb

Shame keeps us from developing into the beautiful person we are designed to be. 

It is very easy to feel shame when we talk or act outside the society norm. Then again, have you asked yourself "Who makes the norm?"

Who is actually in charge and can judge on whether something is normal or not? Nobody knows the answer to that, we only know that "this is how things are done in OUR society." As we know every society and culture is slightly different.

For generations, were taught to be ashamed when we fail at something, our bodies, the occupation we have, our sexual preferences, or even the behavior of our partner or child. The shame we feel can manifest as anger, rage, disinterest, envy and anxiety, or hiding our faces, just to name a few.

It is time to look at shame and get our self-esteem up for once and for all. Self-esteem and knowing who we are and where we stand for is the answer get rid of shame and kick it to the curb:

1. Don't take what others say as truth.

Questioning everything you hear and decide if what you hear is true for you. Commercials work because they repeat the messages over and over again, and it's the same for the things we heard when we were growing up. If we hear it enough we start to believe it. But not all the things we hear are true.

2. Stand up for your beliefs.

When you figure out what your beliefs are, stand behind them even when others don't agree. Push back from others will happen and it's hard to see if somebody has the self-esteem to stand up for themselves. Judgment is then the easiest weapon to bring somebody down.

3. Be yourself.


Nothing is more empowering as being your authentic self. When we are our authentic self, we stand in our power. We are plugged then into the best part of our being. The part that has compassion, understanding, and love.

With this connection everybody wins, you and everybody else.

4. Follow your dream.

Deep down, we all have wishes and dreams for our life, but if our dreams are a little "out there", others may discourage us to follow that dream. Our heart's desires manifest themselves in the life dream we have.

5. Make a plan/goal.

Dreams don't come true without some planning and work. Therefore take steps and make goals to transform your dream into reality.

6. Get comfortable making a fool of yourself. 


We all say or do things that come out different than that we intended. By acknowledging it and apologizing or laughing it off, we get over the shame of the incident very quickly.

Don't give the shame feeling the upper hand. We all are great people and we all make mistakes. Don't judge yourself harder than that you do others. Have compassion for everyone, including yourself.

Want help to put shame at the curb? Contact Ellen Nyland

This article was originally published at Ellen Nyland. Reprinted with permission from the author.