2 Things YOU Can Control (That Might SAVE Your Relationship)

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Today I want to cover two things that are absolutely essential to a great relationship — happiness and appreciation.

Sound too simple? Maybe, but stick with me …

Your happiness is SUPER important (but not in the way you might think). It’s common to assume that a relationship in and of itself should make you happy, but unfortunately, this belief causes people to look to the OTHER person in the relationship and expect them to provide much more than they're capable of.

The truth is, happiness is a CHOICE, not something your partner GIVES you.

Doing things that make you a more well-rounded, fulfilled person is the more direct route to fulfillment and gives you a richer relationship.

When you follow your own passions, it's magnetic to the other person — it makes you more interesting. You feel more fulfilled and happy, and then bring that home with you — and in turn, you look to your partner for less fulfillment and have more to give them.

So how do you do this? You know that thing you’ve always wanted to try? Do it! Pursue goals with and without your partner.

Work on the parts of your life that are dragging you down. Make sure that you’re making an effort to grow and work on your OWN happiness. Drop the expectation that someone else will do it for you. A good relationship should ADD to your life not BE your life.

Lastly, don't forget to appreciate everything your partner does for you. 

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will NEVER forget how you made them feel.” Maya Angelou

Ever felt taken for granted? Chances are that the other person failed to show their appreciation. Over and over again, people in rocky relationships report that they are dying for the other person to recognize their contributions.

Whatever you do, show gratitude! The things you don’t appreciate will decay.

That means that if you want more romance, consideration, or appreciation, the best way to get more is to show how thankful you are for what you have NOW. On the other side of the coin, if you stop being grateful, eventually you’ll stop getting those things.

Some people may think, “But they don’t appreciate me. Why do I have to thank them for every little thing and not have them notice?” 

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Remember: you get what you give, and you can only control YOURSELF. If you are withholding your appreciation because the other person isn’t showing you what you want, NEITHER of you get your needs met.

If you make sure the other person feels wonderful around you, they will either start reciprocating or not, but withholding gratitude isn’t the answer.

So for the next 24 hours, THANK your partner with a big smile for every single thing they do for you. If you both aren’t at least slightly happier with each other by tomorrow, I’d be really surprised.

If men become distant at pull away from you, get to the bottom of it with a free copy of Elizabeth's book, Why Men Lose Interest by joining her daily email series.

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This article was originally published at Digital Romance Inc. Reprinted with permission from the author.