Online Dating? 4 Steps To Crafting A Great Email

Online Dating? 4 Steps To Crafting A Great Email [EXPERT]

So you're browsing on an online dating site and you've found a handful of interesting guys you wouldn't mind knowing better. Since you've read my recent article on why women should consider initiating contact with men when dating online, you now have five great reasons to give it a whirl. Because emailing a man is nothing more than starting a conversation, you may think, "Why not?"

However, once you decide to email an interesting guy, you may find yourself thinking, "What do I say to him?"

A good online dating email should have four components: a greeting, an attempt to establish a connection, a request to chat and a closing.

1. The greeting. As I discuss in Find The Love of Your Life Online, good manners are often lacking in today's email and texting culture. By greeting him by his name, his handle or by simply saying "Hey there," you stand out and show that you're polite and respectful.

2. Attempt to establish a connection. Online dating involves looking at tons of profiles and interacting with complete strangers. In other words, it's highly impersonal. Instead of sending a generic, impersonal message, try to establish a connection with him, to interest him beyond your profile or the thousands of other women he's checked out. Read his profile, find something you both have in common or that resonates with you and mention it. Do you both love dogs? Are you both single parents? Does his secret love of science fiction strike a cord in you? Each of these is a potential way to connect. 

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3. Request to chat. When dating online, men don't know always know how to read women. Make it easier for him by including a casual, low-pressure statement that shows you'd like to hear from him.

4. The closing. Always conclude the email with your name, handle or some other sign-off. Again, manners make you stand out.

When you decide to email a man, keep the email brief and don't overthink it. Here's an example:

Hey IronMan95,

I enjoyed reading your profile. It's pretty impressive that you've done two Ironman triathlons  which ones have you done? I'm a runner and have ran a few marathons … Anyway, let me know if you'e interested in talking more. Have a good one!


This email is polite, short and to the point but still casual and light. She attempts to connect with him based on their mutual enjoyment of endurance sports, while also squeezing in a compliment, a question that can generate more conversation and a request to chat. You'll also notice there is no flirting and no chasing. She's simply starting a conversation that may turn into him asking her out.

Give it a try— you may end up connecting with a great guy!

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