Love, Self

4 Do's & Don'ts Of Facebook Flirting

4 Do's & Don'ts Of Facebook Flirting [EXPERT]

According to Men's Health (, 70% of people have used Facebook to flirt. Plus, nowadays, one in five divorce petitions cite "Facebook" as the reason for the split. It's clear that people are using the Internet to sabotage their relationships, whether they mean to or not.

However, we've been cheating and flirting for all of history — it's not as if social networks are presenting people with options they never knew existed. So, why are we using Facebook to make things more difficult for ourselves? Thanks to social networking sites, things like flirting with an ex or finding an old boyfriend are much easier. Ten years ago, people might have had a hard time tracking down a high school sweetheart.

And really, who would want to go to that trouble? But now, many times, those people are in our extended network of "friends." The easy solution to this problem is to keep in mind the traditional rule of email — don't jot anything down electronically that you wouldn't want coming out in the public space. It's a relatively simple rule, but one that fewer and fewer people seem to heed. Facebook Doesn't Ruin Relationships. People Do.

Of course, this only speaks to the actions, not to the root cause of the feelings that may spark a flirtation or affair. In those cases, just like in real life, it's important to be aware of online surroundings, which have made it increasingly easier to engage in illicit dalliances. Here are four do's and don'ts to keep in mind when dealing with Facebook and romance: 8 Ways Facebook Can Destroy Your Marriage

1. Don't approve friend requests from exes.
2. Don't approve requests from strangers.
3. Tell your partner about whatever contact you've had with an ex.
4. Don't stay online late at night.

Above all, be honest with your partner. That's something that never changes, no matter what technologies come and go. To do this, I suggest putting on a proverbial "bullet proof vest" which I discuss in my book, Make Up Don't Break Up. While a couple has an honest conversation, the idea of the vest can help each person feel like they have permission to speak their mind.

More flirting advice from YourTango:

This doesn't mean that one person should bully the other, or say regrettable things. Rather, the couple should create an environment in which honest communication is encouraged, even if it may be emotionally painful. 5 Ways Facebook Can Help Mark Zuckerberg Keep His Marriage Strong

To see Dr. Bonnie talking more about how to communicate safely and with honesty, click here: or check out her book, Make Up Don't Break Up.