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If these signs sound familiar, the guy you're dating is taking advantage of you.
By Dina Colada — Last updated on Jan 02, 2024
A doormat is a woman who bends over backward to please her man; a woman who will do whatever it takes to try to make her man happy, no matter how badly he treats her.
Here are ten red flag signs that you're being used as a doormat in your relationship.
Here are 10 tiny signs he's treating you like a doormat:
1. He gives you "crumbs" and you pretend to be happy about it
Is he just texting you once a week to make sure you are still there waiting for him? He's just stringing you along and keeping you as his side-dish, and not the main course. In essence, you're his backup plan. He's making sure you're still available on Friday night, in case nothing better comes along. You've got to learn about your boundaries so you can get the love you want.
2. He texts you last minute to meet up — and you go
He doesn't even call but rather texts you to make a date at 8:00 p.m. on Friday. Don't do it, unless you've been seriously seeing each other for a while.
3. You offer to do his laundry
Seriously ladies, if you're not living together, don't even consider turning his stinky socks inside out and dragging them down to the laundromat. If he's that busy, he can call his mom or the dry cleaners.
4. You make him dinner three days a week
They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. If you're making him dinner every night and then washing the dishes afterward, you're training yourself and him to be doing it like this forever.
5. You let him come over at 2:00 a.m. after he's been out
If he's drunk texting you to "hang out," beware: you've become his booty call.
6. You drive hours to meet him for a first date
If you've met a guy online and he wants to meet you, he will drive the distance. If he lives twelve hours away, you can consider meeting him halfway. But if it's three hours or less, he can get out the gas card.
7. You offer to feed his pets when he's on vacation
He's on vacation without you, and you're going to the pet store to pick up a fresh rat to give to his enormous albino boa constrictor. It won't only be the rat feeling like he's getting the life squeezed out of him — you will, too.
8. You accept when he's an hour late to your dates
If he's a few minutes late, give him a break. But if you've gone out four times and he's always at least one hour late, you're being more and more of a doormat every time.
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9. He asks you to leave after being intimate
This is about one of the best ways to feel like a doormat in the worst way. If you like to snuggle up with your lover after intimacy, he needs to know this is important to you.
10. He talks about his conquests in front of you
You aren't one of his fraternity brothers and you don't need to hear about all the notches on his bedpost.
You need to be clear with your boundaries. Figure out what's acceptable to you and what's unacceptable. We're all different, but no woman ever needs to be anybody's doormat, even if he's the richest, most handsome guy you've ever met.
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Dina Colada is an author, speaker, and dating coach who specializes in helping single women navigate the modern world of online dating. Her work has appeared on sites like Prevention, MSN, Women’s Health, Plenty of Fish, and Zoosk.