Women With These 7 Personality Traits Know How To Be Happy — No Matter What
Bonus: How to hone those characteristics in yourself!
getty For the last decade, my underlying core belief has been to choose to love my life and be happy with it, no matter what.
That doesn't mean that I’m technically happy all the time, of course. But each day, I make a conscious effort to find at least a few moments of perfection.
Since making this mental shift, people started asking me various questions about how to be happy — whether it's how to be happy alone, or again, or with yourself, or in life in general — no matter what else is happening their lives and relationships.
It's a valid question. And there are certainly some particular personality traits women can look for and hone in themselves if they want to know how to find happiness.
Years ago, I didn't quite understand myself how to be happy or go about the process of finding happiness.
But now, no matter what’s happening in my personal or professional life, my decision to love my life has shifted every aspect of my world, and you can do it, too.
If you want to be happier without forgetting how to be yourself, work on these 7 personality traits found in women who know to feel happy, no matter what.
1. Optimistic
There is power in making the decision to be a happy person, and it's the primary the key for unlocking a happy life you can love no matter what.
I know you may be rolling your eyes at the notion that deciding to be happy is the key to loving your life. Or you may think it’s easy for me to say, but difficult to do.
I'll admit that, from the outside, it probably looks easy, and sometimes it is. But most of the time, it's not.
Last year, I lost my father, and dealing with the grief and exhaustion was tough. I didn't talk about it much, but each day, I battled the blues and fought for my own happiness.
If you want to truly love your life, you must first decide that you are going to love it. No, won't always easy, but neither is life. So while this may be challenging, it's definitely worth it.
Deciding to love your life means might have to give up some limiting beliefs that have you back. You must decide to no longer be a victim, to stop complaining, and to look for what is compliment-worthy about yourself. You must stop waiting for the other shoe to drop or buying into the belief that happiness is meant for people who are luckier than you.
You must accept, first and foremost, that you are worthy of happiness and you deserve to live a life you love.
2. Accepting
Practicing acceptance completely transforms they way you feel about where you are at any given point in time. It helps you embrace who are, as you are, and feel satisfied with that.
This requires you the willingness to look in the mirror and see yourself for who you really are.
You must be compassionate enough with yourself to see your soft spots and faults and love yourself anyway.
Creating a mantra for accepting yourself as you are is extremely helpful. Try something along the lines of, "I’m doing the best I can in the life I’m living every day", or, "I love my life and it loves me back."
The act of repeating a simple statement to yourself when you feel blah can make a huge difference.
3. Courageous
When faced with challenges, it’s super easy to allow fear to take over, especially if you have a tendency to obsess over your concerns.
Rather than allowing your fears to take over, however, the best way to get back into a logical frame of mind is to start writing.
Write down a big, long list of the facts, and only the facts, about whatever it is you feel worried about.
You can acknowledge how these things are making you feel, but don’t wallow in emotion. No, darling, you write that down in black and white, too.
Instead of letting a negative path take over your life, step back for a minute and analyze the situation without looking to assign blame, as though you are a scientist trying to understand what has happened.
Then ... move on.
4. Clear-headed
When you ask someone about how to be happy and love your life no matter what, I'd challenge you to ask yourself these questions in return:
- "What do I want in life?"
- "What does happiness look like to me?"
- "How would it feel to love my life?"
- "What are my biggest dreams and goals?"
- "Can I describe my ideal day?"
Examine the visions you have for your life and your plans for making them happen.
Oh, you don’t have a vision? Changing that, my darling, can help you love your life!
By being clear on your vision for life, you can fine tune it to fit your desires. And when a challenge arises, you can more easily course correct to continue pursuing your vision. And working your plan.
5. Mindful
Life is a journey. Along the way, you will face good moments and bad. Loving your life comes most easily when you can stay focused on the good.
I know that’s easier said than done, because humans are wired to consider the negative. But obsessing over bad outcomes, looking at them through a magnifying glass, and searching for all of the ways you may be wrong only makes things worse.
When you find yourself beginning to obsess, take a moment to get back into a place of mindfulness.
Stop and breathe, bringing your mind back to the present moment.
Allow yourself to simply be is an invitation to a moment of happiness. Mindful presence allow you to find beauty in the flowers on your dining room table or in savoring that first cup of coffee.
The invitation to find your moment of perfection, no matter how tough the day may be, builds momentum for you to love for your life more and more.
6. Committed
There will be seasons in your life when things seem to be going perfectly. You love your job and your personal life is going smoothly. At times like this, it’s easy to shout to the world that you love your life, no matter what, because, of course, things are really good.
But inevitably, something happens to knock you off kilter.
Sometimes small things add up: you can’t find your keys, you drop and shatter a favorite cup, you realize the outfit you planned to wear for a big presentation is at the dry cleaners or won’t zip up. These collective little things can make you feel as if nothing is going right, sending you heading down the road of, "Oh, woe is me!"
At other times, something major occurs and knocks the breath out of you. Your best friend may be diagnosed with cancer. Your parent may die. You may trip and break an arm. Your heart may be broken.
At times like these, everything you thought you knew about loving your life seems meaningless.
No matter what it is that knocks you off kilter, the trick is reminding yourself that you must continue doing the work of consciously deciding to love your life.
This isn't a game where you do something once and it stays forever. No, darling, you must commit to doing the work of continuing to find happiness time and time again, no matter what life throws your way.
7. Determined
My dear, this is the one life you’ve been given to live. You deserve to love it, and you must be determined to do so.
Life will never be perfect, no matter who you are, but that doesn't mean that it’s not worth the work and the effort.
Being determined to remember this is the best way to ensure that while you don’t demand perfection from yourself, you choose to love yourself and your life as is.
You can find the beauty in life no matter how tough some days, weeks, months or years might be.
And making the decision that you are going to love your life ... that, my darling, is priceless.
Debra Smouse is a life coach and author who discovered that when she fell in love with life, it loved her right back. Get her free e-book and a bi-weekly love note for more.