5 Ways To Love Your Life & Embrace Your Authentic Self (Without Being 'Too Much')

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How To Be Happy & Authentic Without Ruining Your Relationships

In trying to live your best life, embracing your authentic self, and remaining true to your inner emotions and happiness, you may have found a groove that lets you genuinely enjoy your life.

So it stands to reason that since you're living a life you're proud of, that you'd want to share the secrets of how to be happy with your friends, family, and loved ones. However, they may simply not appreciate your efforts to make their life as great as yours.

But why?

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When you do the work and learn how to love your life and yourself no matter what’s happening, it’s natural you want to share your tips and tricks with friends.

I mean, you’re finally happy. And since you’ve discovered that hanging out with other happy and positive people uplift you, of course, you want your friends to be happy, too.

Unfortunately, as much as you desire to spread the joy and the wealth so to speak, sharing the stories of how to love your life and yourself can come across as self-centered, narcissistic, and annoying. And when you venture into crossing the lines and giving advice, people can feel criticized or attacked.

Admit it: you’ve been on the other side of the table from a friend who does just that. And, if you’re anything like most of us, you might have even stopped hanging out with that person.

Instead, make your motto, "be kind and stay happy."

We live in such a negative society these days and too many people can’t love their lives or themselves because they constantly feel bombarded. So, when you go out of your way to appreciate others and acknowledge not just their good deeds but also their humanity, that goes a long way in helping others see that they matter.

So if you genuinely want to understand how to be your happy and authentic self, kindness is often the key. That’s because when you come from a place of being kind to everyone you interact with, you spread happiness and joy.

Rather than telling people how great your life is, you get to be a kind individual. That allows you to access a deeper sense of joy that people will naturally gravitate toward.

This allows you to be the friend folks can count on. Not the annoying friend people avoid.

So here are 5 ways to live your best, authentic life and be true to yourself without being the "annoying" friend:

1. Accept others for who and where they are in life.

Even when you witness that a friend is miserable, wanting her to love her life and herself isn’t enough. The only path to continuing to love your life is to accept others as they are.

You can come across as irritating when you point out how others may not be making good choices. And because they're already in pain, it can cause more pain. They may also resist any changes out of sheer stubbornness.

With an attitude of loving your friends as they are, you get to continue to be a happy person and they can see you as a source of love and light rather than someone people want to avoid.

And, when your friend is ready to begin making changes, she can feel as if you're a good source of advice because you’ve been modeling how to love your life and yourself in a way that feels inspirational, and doable.

2. Recognize when someone doesn't want to change.

Do you ever get the feeling that sometimes people seem to like being unhappy? Yes, despite their complaining around how they wish their life was different, they seem to thrive on being the Debbie Downer.

These are the people who look for what’s wrong rather than what could be right in their life. If you want to know how to love your life and yourself, then learn to recognize when a person secretly doesn’t want to be happy.

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Want to know other ways to recognize people who (secretly) thrive on being miserable?

  • They tell tales of how they were done wrong (aka playing the victim).
  • She doesn’t want to celebrate any of your successes or even her own successes.
  • He’s a martyr, always taking care of others and telling folks how indispensable he is to everyone.

Despite any of these types of people saying they want happiness, in all honesty, they will likely never do the work to be happy. So when you share how to love your life and yourself, you'll always annoy these people. And in turn, they will make you feel a little miserable when you leave them.

3. Consider letting go of toxic people in your life.

Just like the Debbie Downers in your social circle, you meet many people who are flat out emotional vampires. Unlike people that seem to like being miserable, these people tend to thrive on the unhappiness of others.

They want to hear your stories so that they can gather information on you. Because they love to gossip, or because they spread drama, and they love pointing out when others are wrong or flawed.

When you share your stories of loving your life and how you came to love yourself, you will annoy them for sure. Because they only like to hear the stories of when you feel unhappy.

You may not be able to recognize those friends because you're caught up with friendships and good relations with them. But after some time, you will start feeling the toxicity between your relationships.

It is essential to realize the "drama queens" or fake friends in your circle soon before they throw your life into an awkward or chaotic situation.

You are better off having no friends then having lots of these friends. Because even if you’ve learned how to love your life and yourself, their influences on you will eventually eat away at your joy.

4. Don't overshare.

When you are happy and satisfied with your life, you want to share your stories of triumph. Because, of course, who doesn’t like a feel-good story of overcoming challenges, right?

In all honesty, not everyone has earned the right to hear all the pieces of your story.

What I mean by this is two-fold.

First, it’s important to protect the tender parts of our experiences until we’ve healed them. Otherwise, we are at risk of halting our own healing when we share from a super vulnerable place, especially to people we can’t really trust.

This means: yes, tell your coach. Or that best friend who truly has your back. But no, do not tell the frenemy, share the story on social media, or with someone who is just an acquaintance.

As an act of self-love and protection, it’s important to protect some of the pieces of your life.

Secondly, some pieces of our experiences feel like too much information to some folks. And yes, when you’re proud of yourself and your hard work, it can be tempting to share all the details.

But this can cross the line into oversharing. And honestly? That can be annoying.

5. See yourself as a friend.

There is a great value in seeing yourself as a beloved friend. And the best way to connect to that beloved friend? A journal. Writing in a journal allows you to explore all facets of your story. This allows you to remember the harder pieces of your journey. And how you overcame them.

Better yet, when you get in the habit of reflecting on the good moments of your life, you fuel your brain with all the reasons to continue to love your life and yourself.

The truth, my dear, is that even when you learn how to love your life and yourself, you will always be a work in progress.

That’s because life is always changing. And as such, we have to continue to do the work to roll with change. And keep evolving ourselves. We have to commit to continuing to do the work that helps us love our lives and ourselves today, next year, and ten years from now. That’s why, my dear, that learning how to not annoy your friends is actually a way of learning the boundaries you need to protect yourself.

See, all the ways in which we could annoy others with our stories of reinvention and triumph can actually sabotage our happiness. And you deserve better than that. Remember that not only do you deserve to love yourself and your life? You need to nurture and protect that as well.

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Debra Smouse is a life coach and author who has been published in Time, Huffington Post, MSN, Psychology Today, and more. She knows that the path to loving your life begins with an uncluttered mind. Snag a free workbook with life hacks on how to love your life.

This article was originally published at Debra Smouse. Reprinted with permission from the author.