Photo: weheartit
There's a reason they attract men so easily.
By Debra Smouse — Written on Apr 12, 2017
When a man starts dating what people consider to be the "cool" girl, especially when bouncing back from a divorce, some of your friends are probably quick to comment on the typical "guy ditches wife and dates younger woman" aspect. But guess what? The new girl knows how to have fun. It's just what men like in women.
Sure, we all need to be serious sometimes, but perhaps his ex was a little tightly wound. She may be younger than his ex, but maybe she demonstrates that even in the most serious situations, you have to be able to laugh.
The number one things clients tell me after a divorce? They want to be able to love life and laugh again. And that is probably what attracted this man to his new girl. He wants to be in a relationship with someone who has a great work ethic yet doesn’t take everything so seriously.
After a divorce, we all want to move forward and create a new life. But it’s hard to do that when you take everything so seriously. Here are ten tips on how to loosen up.
1. Laugh.
Watch silly animal videos on YouTube. Watch a comedy. Tell corny jokes. Loosen up and learn to laugh. Laughing more reminds your body and your mind that life isn’t always serious.
2. Be mindful about what you put into your body, but don’t take it to extremes.
Food is meant to be enjoyed and savored. If you get so wrapped up micro-managing your intake, it’s hard to have fun. Yes, I know that some folks really do have food allergies and it’s nothing to take lightly. But, baby, you don’t have to make every meal a serious business.
3. Speaking of our bodies, stop trying to burn calories and find something physical you enjoy doing.
Ride your bike. Go for a walk. Play a game of hoops. Going to spin class, yoga or Pilates is all fine and good if you enjoy it. But if you don’t like it, then it’s going to make you cranky. Finding a way to move your body that’s fun will remind you that life is meant to be lived and experienced — not regimented.
4. And while we’re on the topic of our bodies, go to bed already.
Did you know that sleep deprivation will make you cranky? When you’re tired and cranky, you’re going to be able to have fun with life. All those posts of Facebook will be there tomorrow. And that email? It will be, too. Make sure you get enough sleep so that you can put your energy toward playing, not staying awake.
5. Rules are made to be broken.
If you live your life by following a strict set of rules, you’re going to be wound a little tight. There’s a big difference between laws and rules. Don’t box yourself into a tiny space with loads of rules. If the rules are holding you back from being the sexiest, shiniest, most amazing version of who you are, then maybe they’re optional.
6. All work and no play make you a dull person.
A good work ethic is important. But when you aren't working, you should be hanging out with friends, shopping and having fun. It’s not about who wins or what your score is; it’s about the camaraderie and laughter that happen when you play a game with a friend. Go ahead and photo bomb your best friend.
7. Allow yourself to feel your emotions.
If you’re busy numbing yourself and trying not to feel those icky emotions, then you can't really feel the good stuff either. There’s no such thing as selective numbing. So, if you feel like having a good cry? Cry. I promise you it will help you loosen up.
8. Stop trying to be perfect.
Trying to be perfect is nothing short of exhausting.
9. Sometimes, you just have to chill.
Kick back and binge-watch your favorite show. Hang out in your jammies all day and read a book. Hang out in bed all day.
10. Relax and enjoy dating.
Hold hands. Talk. Laugh. Flirt. Connect. Make out like you're in high school. Don't start planning the wedding after the first date. Relax and allow things to progress.
Loosen up, laugh, enjoy your food (and life). It will make you a happier person and, even if you don’t attract a rock star, learning not to take things so seriously will make your love life more rewarding too.
.......
Debra Smouse is a Tarnished Southern Belle who discovered that when she stopped taking life so seriously, she fell in love with her life. Visit her website or connect with her on Twitter or Facebook.