Love, Self

You Can't Text Your Way To A Healthy Relationship

Have you seen the movie "A Few Good Men" starring Jack Nicholson and Tom Cruise? It's about an old scholar, the life liver. Jack Nicholson schools a young lawyer on the truth. It's something that inspired today's blog.

A lady (we'll call her Julie) emails me the other day. She sends me a series of texts that have gone back and forth between her and this guy. They mainly text each other, although they've spoken a couple of times. This has been going on since April, and it's now June. She's starting to lose her mind.

She's sent the guy a barrage of texts listing all the reasons he's not treating her right, one through ten. She lists all the reasons he's no good for her, and telling him it's his place to come and see her not the other way around. I read the texts, and I thought to myself, "How would I feel if a woman sent these messages to me?"

I would think she was out of her mind crazy. There are a few reasons I'd be thinking that. First, she had no idea how to speak to a man. Start attacking a man, and he'll never give you what you want.

Send him a list of reasons he's "misbehaving," and how you need him to treat you, and he'll never respond. The simplest way to communicate your needs to a man is to sit down with him calmly and explain in a logical, loving manner, how you'd like him to treat you differently. But here's the caveat to this crazy situation.

She's never even physically met the guy. They were text buddies. She was having a text relationship. I have no idea how old Julie is. My guess is she's around 40 something. The sad thing is that we've become a society of people who have text relationships. She couldn't have a sensible one on one conversation with this man she was attacking, because they'd never been in the same room together.

A text friendship is not a relationship. But in today's socially backward society, we have "email buddies" and "text buddies" that we see as flirtation that might eventually lead somewhere. The trouble is it won't ever lead anywhere because you don't ever see each other. When you meet in April, and haven't met by June, it's telling you he has no interest in you, or he's as passive as you.

This is crazy. It really is. We're having fake relationships based on text interactions. We feel the need to call someone out via text because we're too afraid to talk face to face. If you don't ever see this person physically, you're not in a relationship.

I get so many emails from people saying they're in a relationship by email with someone that lives in another country, and they have this problem or that problem. If the only contact you have is by email or text, you're not in a relationship.

We have to stop living this weird passive lifestyle. Julie was angry with me because I told her the truth about this "relationship" of hers. I told her the truth and she didn't like it. She couldn't handle the truth that this was nothing but a fantasy. She proceeded to tell me I knew nothing, and even her male friends agreed she was right about it all.

Of course, her male friends agreed with her. Half of them probably want to sleep with her, and the others just want to make her feel good. If you want the truth, email me because I'll give you the truth, like it or not, every time. I don't sugar coat anything, and I'm 100 percent down the line with you. And if you're dating a fantasy man you only ever see on a text message then listen......

Put down your phone, go outside, and meet a real man who wants to love and adore you in person!